And the mother's name is Robin.....!

MILWAUKEE - Weighing in at 13 pounds, 12 ounces, Delaney Jessica Buzzell isn't your average newborn. Her parents have even dubbed her the "Big Enchilada." The baby headed home Tuesday after being delivered by Caesarean section on June 23 — a surprising three weeks early.
Her family isn't quite sure what to make of her weight. The father is 6-foot-2 and the mother is 5-foot-7, and nurse Judy Nadolski described them as "regular-sized."
"We're pretty normal," 34-year-old Paul Buzzell said.
Nadolski said carrying the baby in her arms was like holding a 4- or 5-month-old infant. The diapers and baby T-shirts also were a little on the snug side.
"It was ready for a steak," the nurse said. "It had quite an appetite."
This isn't the first supersized baby for Paul and Robin Buzzell, from suburban Mequon.
Their now-4-year-old daughter, Cameron, was born weighing 11 pounds, 8 ounces, and their second child, Alexis, now 2, weighed in at 10 pounds, 8 ounces when she was born.
When Cameron was born, Paul Buzzell said he posted a sign on the door that said "Home of the Whopper." When their second child was born, Buzzell put up a sign describing her as "Whopper Jr."
With the birth of the "Big Enchilada," the Buzzells say their family is now complete.
"This will be the last one," Paul Buzzell said.
The child weighs near double the average newborn. And according to the National Center for Health Statistics, less than 1 percent of babies weigh more than 11 pounds at birth.

I'm going to see my OB/GYN today and have my tummy measured, hope little Avery isn't that big.
I'm 5'8" and Jamie is 6'5" The world record for biggest birth was something like 23 pounds but the mother was 7'+
I'll be back to update you on our visit to the doctor

Update: got to my doctors office, this time prepared with a full bladder to have them sample and as I was signing in, the receptionist says '"hello Robyn, there are a couple of people ahead of you and Dr. G is in a C-section right now. Would you like to reschedule or just wait?" well, I have no idea how long c sections take but the other women aren't giving up their hope of seeing the wonderful doctor this afternoon. I find that the next time they could see me wouldn't be until nextTuesday when I'm suppose to see my shrink so I decide to wait.
Jamie was with me and neither of us had had lunch (plus I desperately needed to pee) so I ask the receptionist if I could run down the street and grab a bite to eat...'Not a problem'...... so jamie and I headed down to Wendy's where I relieved myself and refilled on a biggie sprite.
By the time we got back to the office I realize all the women in the waiting room had changed...(DR. G is a busy man)... I get ushered right in, have my urine tested, and step on the scale for the nurse.
Biggestt shock of all time is that now, in my8th month of pregnancy, I have not gained a single pound...!!! Icouldn't believe when she told me my weight had stayed the same, I mean come on! I'm the prego lady that put on over twice the legal limit per month for several months.... and now that I'm nearing the end, when the weight gain is suppose to be the most noticeable , I gain nothing?!
I asked the doctor on my way out if that was o.k. and he just looked at me like I was silly for asking. We both knew the answer was that I had gained enough already and to not be concerned about it. I was actually better off not gaining extra weight at this point.
When the nurse was taking my blood pressure, I told her the story about the Wi. Baby being so huge, everyone was so chatty today, all the office girls looked at me and kept saying "not much longer" for me.....It was really nice to hear so many people notice my progress. I kinda felt like I was the center of attention but I know that couldn't be the case in a office that see's pregnant women day in and day out. Did I have my pregnant glow on or something? It did feel good.
When I was checking out, the girl at the desk went and scheduled me all the way up till September 6 which is two weeks past my due date. She was so thankful that I didn't get upset or angry with her scheduling me that far in advance, evidently prego women don't like to think that they will be late past their due dates and get offended if the office prepares for it. I was just happy that I could see the end in sight and told the girl Ididn't mind just as long as she didn't schedule me for any appointments in 2006.
All in all the visit was smooth. My weight hasn't changed which is nuttso, my uterus is between 32 and 33 inches, and Ididn't have to give any blood.
Avery's little heart sounded so much bigger and slower then the times before. It was a good strong rhythm and the Dr.Was pleased. Tomorroww jamie and I start up the childbirthing classes..We really should have done this a lott sooner but at least we got signed up and we should finish the series before D-day.

Me with lil' sis' BF Ryan M. playing dress up 

you need to shower and put clean clothes on 

Don't read My NAKED post jamie!

So today I got another foot and calf massage from my sweet man. He wanted to go out fishing with his buddy tonight and I told him if he could rub my tootsies it would be o.k. ( do I have this boy trained or what) but after the massage I didn't want to get out of the bed. My feet were all greasy from the oil he used so I figured I would enjoy my relaxation further and drift off to sleep. Bad idea because when Batman woke me to take him to work an hour later he was a little irritated. The whole way up to his work I had to be interrogated about my blogging.
evidently I had left my 'ultrabright' signed in on the PC and he got to looking at all of my links.....The one in particular that got his goat was Steve's Nude Memphis.
It was stupid having to explain that the pictures on steve's blog are harmless nude shots. That there really isn't anything DIRTY about them. Jamie told me that I cant go there anymore and that I really need to quit blogging....."if you're going to get on my case about pornography and the internet, then You really don't need to be visiting another mans blog that post nude pictures on it....."
Or something similar, it was really too funny trying to get him to understand .
For some reason Batman just doesn't get blogging. He thinks it's what lonely people do that have no creativity in finding something worth while. What does he know? He's going fishing just to catch and release the poor animals back into the water....On top of that He's going with my little sisters boyfriend Ryan M. And that boy stinks! He literally smells bad from head to ....OMG I don't want to tell you about his foot odor. He just smells bad. Betcha Ryan M. kills the fish by just standing on the bank of the water with only his stench.
OK I'm just being mean now, ( I just cant stand that Kentucky mountain man stink of his) as long as Jamie doesn't come home smelling like him then the foot massage will be worth it. I think I can handle jamie coming home smelling like fish better then I can, him smelling like Ryan M.

What's the worst smell any of you have had to endure off another person?
update:
well, I just recieved a phone call, it's just a little after midnight and Jamie called to check in. so far he's caught a turtle (redear pond slider) and Ryan M. has pulled in a softshell turtle and one fish....told you his feet would rock the nightlife. I thought jamie was fishing, not "turtleing"

jamie teaching cousin chad the throw the peace sign 

my favorite guys on earth* Batman and Riddler 

may, 2005 * Jamie as the Easyrider show, see the lust in his eyes.  

prozac, pregnancy, & palak paneer

It's another week and I don't have anything on my agenda other then be healthy. I cant think of another time that I was this 'healthy' if you call being 40 pounds overweight healthy. I'm not drinking, smoking, and I'm cutting back on the cursing. My mental health is all over the place but leveling out a bit ( I think ) I quit taking my prozac because I cant nurse my baby while on it and I want to give Baby Avery the best. I want to feed her the good old fashioned way with nurturing Boob juice, Its the best for baby and for mommy. I figured it would be better to go off the antidepressants before I got to my post pardom blues.
Just figure I'm handling the pregnancy a lot better then I was before and actually happy about the future of my life. To be honest with you, there was some really dark thoughts I was having due to the flux in hormones plus a nasty case of post traumatic stress disorder due to being the victim of a gang attack back before I knew I was pregnant but that's getting too personal for this blog.
Point is, by the time the porzac numbed me up, I was ok with my body changing and I didn't feel like I wanted to die, I'm still seeing my shrink but she doesn't tell me anything other then to relax and take care of my baby. It's funny to be paying someone to listen, that's what friends are for (or blogger) only you guys actually give me encouragement and little pieces of wisdom and I thank you.
Maybe I should just quit seeing my shrink until I'm not managing things. I mean, why am I keeping her abreast on my account of pregnancy? Why cant they just say all pregnant women go nuts and diagnose me with 'pregnancy disorder' or something... (sorry to the women out there who have it all together) my suspicion is that those women are in denial and are comfortable in their pregnancy....Actually that's exactly what my trouble has been. This pregnancy came up as a surprise to me under the worst circumstance, after my attack I had been treated at the local hospital, give the morning after pill and told I would menstruate in 2days to 2 weeks, never happened so the acceptance of my body changing and finding a love for this baby has been extremely rough for me.
yes, if your wondering what I'm talking about....Just have a hard time saying the R word

I was blessed so much that I have a wonderful man that wants to stay by my side through all of this garbage. We don't talk a lot about the specifics, We just do our best to keep moving in a positive direction in life. Looking forward to the happiness that a new baby can bring

Well, I wrote about stuff that I said I wasn't going to post on bloger, not really stuff for the public, but then I don't have anything to hide. It's just not stuff people share
On another note, I went to church with my Dad. Since all the problems between him and Mom this past week, Dad and I went to Countryside Bible church, my older bro. Ryan attends there with his wife.
It was very enjoyable and I had been wanting to visit for several months now. I loved the music because we got to use hymnals and read the music along with the singing. My parents other church tries too hard to be modern and play all the 'new' praise songs that no body knows, plus the music director get's lost in the music sometimes and really isn't helping the congregation along so It comes out a jumbled mess. I pray that it isn't too offensive to Gods ears. I just use that as inspiration to sing even louder and hope that it creates harmony with the others doing the same.
you know I don't know if I really should post this. I've just been rambling around and I talked about stuff that I don't like. Maybe for another day or I could just make this unbearably long so no one makes it through to the end if they actually start reading.

Tomorrow I have absolutely nothing to do, I plan on seeing my mother and possibly having lunch with my good friend Robert. He's my long time friend from India and runs his own squishy mart. Fantastic guy who just wants to quit working but doesn't know how. His life is consumed with money. And I would hate to be like that. When ever we get together, he's always talking about some crazy investment he's looking at because some 'hot babe' is trying to get into his money. He's a sucker for the ladies which cracks me up. Typically when we get together I indulge in Indian cuisine, but since I've been pregnant, it really hasn't tasted the same. I'm so disappointed, because I love a good Indian dish of palak panneer and now my baby Avery is messing up my tasted buds.
The only real craving I've had during this pregnancy is for Dairy. I go through a gallon of milk in three days all to myself. I figure that's how she's growing so big. My uterus is crushing into my xyphoid process now and bulging out between my ribcage, good thing they are elastic. Still have about 7 more weeks till my due date but I'm hoping the doc says to have her early, all the milk I've been drinking is growing her bones bigger then my body can take.
Well, i hope this is long enough for you guys to wonder and forget about all that I wrote at the start. Maybe I'll post a bunch of pictures so you can comment and feel like you visited for awhile. I dont mind if you coment on this, just feel weird talking about certain stuff...yeah, i know there is always a delete button but that doesnt make things go away for me. Things happen for a reason but I cant make out any purpose in being vicitmised. especially just to wined up pregnant afterwards. it's the scarriest thing to endure but I guess God has some lesson for me. If I were to say right now what that lesson was, I would say it has something to do with understanding love. I'm having to find a love that heals for me, while become strong again to love someone new that is a part of me. wether or not she was a result of the attack, I'm still having to care for her being that she is inside me...I' m about to cry now so
I made some jello and it should be set, gotta go look for the cool whip

Something all about You

This is pretty cool, check IT out! It's a Birthday calendar
http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

hurry up with the delivery 

Baby Bliss

I got my nursery put together And I am so happy
The crib looks wonderful except that it's missing a baby. I just sat in little Avery's room and cried thinking how happy I was, and what a sweet time this is for us. Not much longer and we're going to have a screaming baby on our hands. A darling little soft skinned creature made from our own DNA that knows absolutely nothing about the worries or ugliness of this world.
I cant wait to see her, to hear her little voice, to smell her sweet infant breath...It's so much like a dream but it's going to really happen. It's going to really happen To ME! *huge grin* I always thought I was missing out on some part of being a woman because I was in my late twenties and had never been pregnant. A lot of the girls my age have already had their families and gotten tubes tied, but I carried around a bitterness thinking I was behind, and not blessed by God to experience the beauty of Womanhood and birth, now here I am, the gigantic stomach, the swollen legs and feet, about to endure this mystery pain of childbirth and I feel so blessed. God was looking down on me and said that It was my time.
The thing that scares me is realizing that this dream doesn't just complete itself with bringing a newborn into the world, we are going to have this little creature and be entirely responsible for it always...Always! My life will never be the same.
I just pray the Little Avery doesn't have impossible expectations, and that she has a very understanding heart. She's my first daughter, my first child and I'm going to screw her up somehow. I hope she forgives me and grows past my mess ups and that our relationship is one of her favorites when she is older.
I'm going to be a Mom and my little girl has a sweet room waiting to be all hers. My home is quiet right now and I am so happy.


Check out my friend the Gestator from Down under,
http://threeplusoneequalsfour.blogspot.com/ she's got some horrible stuff going on with her pregnancy and is too funny for words when she writes about her doctors visits. give her some words of encouragement if you would.

Feeling the earth beneath my feet 

Sun is Shining

I feel so good today. The past several days have just had a peace about them and I feel like a leaf has been turned in my pregnancy worry.
The Solstice was definitely a magical day. My entire family got together and had a meeting with my mother's neurologist. It was ment to be an informative thing about mom's symptoms and what Multiple sclerosis is doing to her. For some reason, she doesn't or isn't able to recognize the help that she receives and doesn't think anyone in the family is concerned with her and is willing to help her, To make a long story short, the entire family was there to support mom and she was still trying to bitch about how nobody wants to try to help her....(I just want her to wake up and smell the coffee she's brewing, our family has so much love and patience, and we have endured a lot of ugliness on mothers part but ,,,*Big sigh*,,,it just keeps getting worse) And that is exactly what the neurologist says we have in store. The one thing I learned was that it's not really all of Mom's drugs/medications that make her loopy and paranoid, and have her emotional outburst, MS actually attacks not just the body but also how the brain operates.
Having it explained like that helped a little, Its just sad to think that my poor mother is in such a state of decay it's almost like not really having a mom anymore. She's turned into a child herself...But I was telling you all about how things have just been great so allow me to continue the bright side of all of this.
The last half hour of 'neurologist talk' and someone ratted out Mom, The doctor said that if she gets violent again, (MS is not an excuse for homicide ) that the family needs to call him. (to catch you up on the past week, Mom beat my little brother with her cane and went after my daddies nuts so Dad has moved in with my lil sis.) the whole thing was upsetting and nobody know what to do. Mom has gotten out of control and she doesn't see that she is pushing everyone away) So the DR. Got informed that the family is supportive but we wont get beat up and mom's MS is not a reason to endure her ferocious temper. Mom wasn't down with the whole thing coming out because in her head that's not how things happened.I was scared that she was going to Hulk Hogan the table across the room because she got all red in the face and started pulling at her hair. But now we have a safety word (yeah, right, like saying 'redlight' is actually going to get mom to let go of hair and quit swinging) but the anti-psychotic medicine is around the corner.

My mother is not an evil woman. She can be very loving and deeply cares for others..But she suffers from a horrible disease that spreads to every part of her and she is unable to control it. Unfortunately her disease is spreading into the family dynamics and it has been so awful to see the deterioration especially when I'm about to bring a new member into our family circle. It's times like now that I could really use a mother figure to glean wisdom and comfort from and the truth is, mom isn't able to focus long enough to get a glimpse of what truly is going on. I'm missing out on our relationship because we have to spend so much time and energy trying to help mom and maintain her peace. It just isn't fair but then life isn't. All we can do is make the best of things and keep helping each other out.
My shrink told me that I don't need to worry so much about what's going on at home. I need to remember my place as 'incubator' to my unborn baby and right now that is the biggest chore for me. Stress wasn't going to be good for me or little Avery, And my shrink told me to take something I could hold to keep myself grounded in a peaceful bubble , so I carry around a little yellow Bootie in my purse....
"I call her Mellow yellow..." That's my baby!

So Mom doesn't get away with her crap anymore, My baby is due in 59 more days, I ate a fancy cup full of Sherbert this afternoon, I haven't had to wake during the night to go pee the past two nights, And I 'm getting the crib put together tonight and decorating the nursery....I was trying to put it off till July but Nesting must be done while the energy is up.

Happy Full moon from where the stars at night are Big and Bright 

Three Graces

My Horoscope.....

So be prepared for a string of absolutely astounding and RARE events that will suddenly befall you.
You must know that in the coming weeks, a succession of Three events, absolutely amazing and extremely rare, is going to happen.
Even separately, each of the three events is still a very rare occurrence, but their power will be so much greater since they are all going to happen within a very short interval, in just a matter of days… (exactly 13 days!)
First of all, there will be Saturday, July 02, 2005
Yes, first there is going to be . It is on this very date that the moon will enter a capital phase. What this means is that for a brief period of time, you will escape the maleficent influence and harmful magnetic radiation of this nocturnal celestial object...
then there is Tuesday, July 05, 2005
On Saturday, July 02, 2005, a major magnetic eruption will occur on the SUN, when, for the length of several minutes, you will again escape the negative dominion of the wicked magnetic radiation...
and, finally, Friday, July 15, 2005
Precisely on Friday, July 15, 2005, you will feel how this day is unlike any other. This is a MAGICAL day, saturated with a special sort of radiation, the last magical day this year!..
… All of this in a matter of days, just weeks after this extraordinary event that's awaiting you around the corner!
Admit it, this is simply too much for a mere coincidence and there must be a message written between the lines!
Do you, Robyn, happen to know what this string of unprecedented events means to you?
What it means is that during this very special period you will be able to DRAW A FINAL LINE in the life you are living today, with all its anxieties and problems, and enter a NEW LIFE, beautiful and RICH, a life filled with extremely POSITIVE events!
A life where money never runs out, a life where love and friendship are an everyday occurrence, a life where sorrow and grief are no longer in your vocabulary…
Yes, if everything happens as expected, on Friday, July 15, 2005 at 1 p.m., you will have entered your NEW LIFE!

Sounds exciting except for the typos...
I didnt know the Moon had negative radiation....
Good thing I found out before howling at it tonight...It' s gonna be FuLL

Sidewalk art

Super trippy images, go check them out but be careful to not fall in

http://gprime.net/images/sidewalkchalkguy/

They definitely messed with my mind for a bit :?

Got Interracial tendencies?

just check it out even if you dont...It's slutty I'm warning yall :)

http://gprime.net/video.php/blaupunkt

Midsummer begins Monday night and goes through Tuesday evening

"Midsummer is the time when the sun reaches the peak of its power, the earth is green and holds the promise of a bountiful harvest. The Mother Goddess is viewed as heavily pregnant, and the God is at the apex of his manhood and is honored in his guise as the supreme sun."

Earth on Summer Solstice by NASA 

Summer Solstice

People around the world have observed spiritual and religious seasonal days of celebration during the month of June. Most have been religious holy days which are linked in some way to the summer solstice. On this day, typically JUN-21, the daytime hours are at a maximum in the Northern hemisphere, and night time is at a minimum. It is officially the first day of summer. It is also referred to as Midsummer because it is roughly the middle of the growing season throughout much of Europe.
"Solstice" is derived from two Latin words: "sol" meaning sun, and "sistere," to cause to stand still. This is because, as the summer solstice approaches, the noonday sun rises higher and higher in the sky on each successive day. On the day of the solstice, it rises an imperceptible amount, compared to the day before. In this sense, it "stands still."
(In the southern hemisphere, the summer solstice is celebrated in December, also when the night time is at a minimum and the daytime is at a maximum.

Batman and Daddyhood

Batman had his first father's day this past weekend. It was really quite exciting when you consider that there really are not a whole lot of "first" when you get to be our age.

I was wanting to get him something really special and I came up with the idea of getting him a new watch. Specifically one that kept track of seconds that way when I go into labor, he will be able to time my contractions.
Since he's technically not gotten to see his daughter yet, it really makes this father's day unique, I just cant wait for when Avery is here and the Fatherhood has been worn for a little bit and Jamie has a feel for what Father's day means to him.
Right now, it's still forming and fatherhood is only a dream, we can only speculate what kinda Dad Batman will be. I'm sure he will be great, as long as he doesn't run away from it.....I don't know why, but I have some weird fear that Jamie will be overwhelmed with the responsibility. I have heard too many cases where the Dad wants to participate in raising his child but is unable to keep up with the responsibility 24 hours a day. And in the end the child is simply raised by the mom.
Maybe it's because Jamie didn't marry me and I fear being a single mother....He plans to marry me but his reason is that he wants to marry for love, not just because we have a baby....If he only understood that maybe it would be loving of him to marry me and secure my idea of "us" before this kid gets here....Not like I want to be all fat and pregnant during the wedding but honestly that doesn't really matter one little bit....I kinda feel him putting it off is making me wonder if I really do want to marry this guy, or am I just cutting my nose off to spite my face?
I also believe that pregnant woman should put off making big decisions until life has settled down a bit. There are too many hormones going rampant and feelings get blown way out of proportion. so I'll just sit here and be pregnant for another 60 sum odd days and see if my mind ever returns to me.
It's just so scary to think how life is changing and how It's just going to keep on changing weather I keep up with it or not....I 'm excited but I'm worn out already. I guess I worry about Jamie and Me and how having a baby is going to change how we interact with one another. He's not going to just be 'my sweetie',,,he's also becoming a Dad to my daughter and that means that He will be the strongest male influence on her young mind,,
It's frightening because he just doesn't measure up when I compare him to what I feel about my DaD. I want Avery to have the best....Guess Jamie's going to have to figure it out in the same way I'm going to have to figure out what being a Mom Is.

Not really me, just artful interiptation of being trapped because my fat tummy doesnt fit into spaces like it use to 

Where's the Fiber

So today I picked up my prescription for Extra strength Iron, My doctor said that I was borderline anemic. everytime my blood gets tested, the medical staff says that I am 'borderline anemic", never all the way anemic but that I should increase my Iron with a supplement And I do but everytime my bloodwork gets done, it comes back borderline....I don't think my blood carries iron very well. Or else I just test poorly.
I feel good (not because of the supplement) but because I Got the Doc to hook me up with a laxative too. I know , you probably don't want to hear how I cant go poo and haven't for like five days now, but my lovely Doc wanted to make sure the extra Iron didn't make my situation worse. This big tub of powder can be mixed in with any type of fluid and has no flavor or texture......Hmmm, I'm planning a surprise hit on Batman when he's not suspecting anything! Oh, how evil of me, hahahahahah

He's out front right now getting the grill going, whining about how he cant cook out unless he has some beer. So I guess I get to waddle my fat stomach to the store for him and pick up a six pack. Hope the cashier doesn't think the booze are for me...
MMMMmmmmm, I can smell the grill already, We're having Shishkabobs! I love food on a stick! Is there any fiber in a shishkabob?

Who wants to be a Billionaire?

Take the Quiz and see how you fare...I only fell in the 40 hours a week, 40 weeks a year category, pretty lame but funny to imagine achieving

http://www.forbes.com/static_html/bill/2004/quiz/bill04quizFla.shtml

Doctor's Visit!

We're ahead of schedule, well, not really...we're just going to have a huge baby which I guess is great.

I went to see my wonderful OB/gyn today, my parents got invited and they were happily waiting in the office when I arrived. Mom was looking all rosey and my Dad looked too old to be in that type of doctors waiting room but I was glad that they were there and behaving themselves.
I didn't even get a chance to sit down, before I was called back . Mom kept commenting how pregnant I looked. That today was the first time she noticed how large I have gotten. (probably because it was the first time she was focused on someone other then herself) It was funny having her marvel over me and tell me how good I looked....Shoot! She was marveling over how good Batman looked With me as we walked into the office. My nutty mother!

Anyway, I had just emptied my bladder just before leaving the house which was big mistake. I was only able to 'go' for half a second of a trickle. I could spit more than I peed, but the nurse said it was just fine. ...Thank God! I had my parents waiting outside and I didn't want to keep the circus waiting.
I jumped on the scale, nervous because I have struggled with my weight gain. Several months I was putting on like 9 lbs. Each month and we're only suppose to gain 4lbs a month. But this was the first time, I was right on target. 2lbs for the past 2 weeks! Awesome!

The best part was the ultrasound! My mother was so excited to be there and I know my Daddy was reminiscing about working the equipment (he had private practice OB/GYN D.O. for 16 years while I was a kid) But the Baby is definitely a girl! She has huge girl parts that were clear as day to see. If fact, the picture of her privates is the the easiest to decipher out of all the shots that we got to take home.
The thing my Doc kept marveling was that she looks like a big one. He measured my tummy and My uterus is 31.5 inches tall! That's like 2 and a half feet! My body is tremendous!
he said she weighs about 4lbs 5 oz. And has plenty of amniotic fluid so everything is going great. I'm just going to have to birth a 10 pounder come August. She's only suppose to be maybe 3-3.5 lbs right now, I'm having a huge baby! I just hope she doesn't hate me, I've always resented being so tall. I'll have her daddy to blame. Batman Is 6'5" I'll just tell Avery, that I tried as hard as I could to keep her average sized.

Guess We cant really call her little Avery anymore

Found This

"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you."

This is how the poet Kahlil Gibran expressed the mystery of childbirth. Have you ever wondered about it? For nine months babies are invisible to the outside world, and seem to be part of your body. Yet they are not. They are attached to you only by a cord. Your body produces the umbilical cord and the baby’s little life-support system, the placenta, but the baby itself has its own heart beat, it’s own blood supply with its own blood type, its own DNA and unique genetic code.

Me at Sunset on my balcony 2004 

Tip top Toes

This weekend got me a pedicure! My feet are so pretty now. Sitting in church on Sunday next to my little sister Rachel , I noticed that she had her nails and toes done. Something she typically never does. My sister has always been the tomboy. Never bothered with styling her hair, just threw her butt length tresses up in a bun and ran. She a beautiful girl, just not very girly so I was surprised that she had actually seen the inside of a nail spa.
During my crying fit That I mentioned in Mom's on Steroids post, I think I blurted out that I needed a pedicure, and my daddy started putting money in Jamie's hand, telling him that if I need anything I should have it. Hence I got a pedicure this weekend. I do feel about 60 percent better at least in the attractive category....I'm still pregnant but at least my toes have been pampered. I had been whining about needing to get a pedicure, God knows I have a difficult time reaching my feet anymore. I didn't mean for Daddy to take it into his own hands, Just hoping that Jamie would treat me...Guess he's new to the pampering thing.
I have always been the bread winner, and treated myself to whatever I wanted or needed as long as I was able to fit it into the bugget,,,the only thing now is that I've not been working, and We've had to rely entirely on Jamie's Income which is "doo-able" except that he never regulates his spending. Just because he thinks he's going to have two more paychecks, he'll splurge on whatever crap the 'surplus' money can buy, Unfortunately when the end of the month comes.....
Never mind. I don't want to annoy myself or bore you with Finances.... I'll just sum it up that jamie sucks as a fianacial planner. And it must have embarrassed him when daddy told him to get me to a salon.

My Daddy just doesn't want to be put in the 'shit-house' by mom if she hears that I'm going without during my pregnancy. But since when is a pedicure part of prenatal treatment?

Does not matter, My toes are updated for the summer and I got myself a cute pair of pink airwalk flip-flops.
My feet had been so swollen the past couple days, I had to stay off of them entirely on Saturday, my toes were so fat they felt like I had been stung by Bees. All I wanted was to put cold on them, and the house was out of ice so I kept asking to use Batmans hands. For some reason, his fingers were frigid and felt like heaven against my swollen digits.

I would place a picture up of how gorgeous my feet are, but unfortunately my memory card for the camera is de-funcked right now. One more thing I need Batman to fix, after he get the vacuum running again....He's almost more frustrating then he is cute....Actually I'm just being more needy and demanding because of how rotten it feels to be so fat!


Tomorrow I go to see My OBGYN,,, he has very long fingers and I think I like him (strictly Dr. To patient) I know I'm going to love him when He helps me end this pregnancy (labor/delivery)
I posted the first sonogram that was taken back in February. We're having another Tomorrow and I get to see my little unborn Avery.
Last night I had a dream that Avery was already here Only she was a little boy.!?! Still called her Avery and in my dream I was concerned that I would have to give birth not just to another baby so we could have our little girl too but that I would have to birth another boy so we could use the Boyname that Jamie had picked out before we got pregnant...It was a stressful dream thinking that I had messed up birthingthe wrong sex...The things that worry a pregnant mind
I really believe that I have totally lost all sanity.
I figure the emotional outburst and fits of crying are Avery's personality developing in me. I'm currently acting like a baby because there's an infant inside. In the same way, my body is growing her physically, my psyche is growing her emotionally and there are dual personality's going on inside me right now. I feel so bad for the people around me but they all seem to understand and have sympathy. I just feel so lost sometimes...Just very away from the actual person that Robyn is suppose to be. I understand that the dynamics of my life are drastically changing, I just don't know when things will settle down and I can look in the mirror and recognize the person looking back

Baby Avery back in Feb. 16weeks 

My Lovely mother 

Mom Got Steroids

Mom was diagnosed with MS about 5 years ago and She just got finished with being on 5 days of steroid IV drip. She's a lilttle bit altered now due to the drugs. And to Top of the circus act this weekend, her best girlfriend Patsy from Arizona was in town visiting for the weekend.

Mom's behavior was Awful. Between crying at everything, not being able to think a complete thought and erupting into horrible fits of screaming because 'nobody understands' , Things were going ok until my pregnancy hormones kicked in and I wanted to act childish too.
I had to run out the front door and take off on a hike, I couldn't control it and I wanted to cry. This was the first time in several weeks that Mom finally gained her composure and thought to ask how I was doing. I told her everything was 'fine' and couldn't stop myself from breaking down into tears.
Jamie jumped off the couch and followed me out the door trying to figure what had upset me so badly. I only came to a halt when my tears made it impossible to see ahead of me.
I woundup on the swing set in the front yard and started to swing, bawling my eyes out.
It's the weirdest thing to do....To be on swing and try to cry.
I guess the pregnancy is stressful, and then to have to put up with Mom being hadicapped it really took it's toll. I just needed to swing and regain my emotions. Mom wasn't going to be the only one to act badly that day, I was game.

To Add one more thing of comedy to this tragedy, Avery Got a good kick out of me and into Mom's tummy when I gave her a hug after all the emotional disturbance had subsided. Mom really lit up when she felt her unborn granddaughter kick. I almost invited her to come to my OBGyn appointment on Wednesday....If she's a little more in control of herself and doesn't start yelling at the drop of a hat ...Maybe we'll see.

Nothing New in my pregnant world except that my tummy keeps expanding. My little baby inside is quite active and must have Very Large Feet. Her kicks now create a 'twich' in my belly.
I was driving yesterday and my third rib on the right side (must be her favorite kicking post because it's so tender now) came out and bounced my boobie almost into my chin. It was so unexpected that I swerved out of my lane. thank God there was no other traffic then. I don't think pregnant woman should be allowed to drive. I still have 7 more weeks till baby Avery is considered 'term' and each day I wonder how much more of my body she is going to take over.
This body definitely isn't mine anymore and I've gotten use to that but still, the discomfort keeps increasing. I've gotten use to not being able to breath and that my stomach is now located up in my ribcage. Let me tell you that arragement make's for some really small meals. But even with those small meals I keep gaining weight like I'm munching on Ethiopians for breakfast,lunch, and dinner.

It is pretty funny to see my belly move though....It reminds me of the way a horse's skin will shake off a bugging fly. The other day, Avery actually kicked Batman in the nuts. He was giving me a sweet hug when all of a sudden, he doubles over in shock that my tummy assaulted him. He wasnt hurt, it was too funny that his daughter had kicked him through my gut and actually knocked him. wonder if thats a story we should wait to tell when she's an adult? only 70 sumodd days! I'm sure that i will miss being pregnant afterwards, but I can hardly wait till I get to be incontrol of my body again.

No more anonymous comments yall. I left it open but now someone is being nasty and leaving stupid things that don't have any relevance toward my post.
Who ever you are, get a life, or make your own blog that way you can write whatever crap you feel like saying. There's no reason to leave obscenities on my page.

As for the rest of you, I don't mind reading the things you have to say. I want you guys to feel free to say what's on your mind. as long as it has some quality reference to my post. I appreciate the words you say and the encouragement I receive so keep it up (blogging that is)

Exploring your business

Last night I did something I usually don't do. I spent a good part of the evening getting nosy and handing out advice to a complete stranger using Instant messenger.
I mean this girl is just a typical young woman who left a comment on my blog the other day. When I looked her up to see her profile, there was an address to chat and I dove right into several hours of getting to be friends. We have a lot of the same interest such as theatre, She works at a bloodbank ,which maybe she could help me get over my fear (my insane phobia) of needles before I have to go to the hospital and give birth. But the thing that got me going was that she's being dumped by her boyfriend of three years for no obvious reason other then he doesn't think he 'can have longer relationships' ...The guy has problems and I don't care if he reads this. My 'Panda' is a terrific young lady who doesn't deserve to sit at home and cry while her moron ex thinks he can treat women this way, and then still be "friends" after he dumps them. She's going places and she'll get there a lot happier and a lot quicker without having to lugg a selfish, pig-headed, boyfriend along.....Got it girlfriend!

I really impressed myself with some of the things we talked about. about how our identity changes when ever we exit a relationship... I sounded like a real therapist. Maybe my shrink is rubbing off onto me...Maybe I don't have that deep a depression,,,,maybe the prozac is working, (maybe it's her blog tittle 'cheaper than prozac') Anyway, I'm feeling better having made a new friend. It's just called helping some one in need. What's that thing called, "send it to someone new"? Pay it Forward is what I'm thinking about.. Pay it forward.
I encourage all of you to pay a good deed forward to somebody else today. I wasn't looking to become 'friendly' with a stranger, it just sorta happened. So practice Nice and love your neighbor, you never know who your in the pressence of.

Look at my links way down at the bottom

I'm getting better at this template thing. I found a way to place all my favorite blogs in a blogroll, unfortunately the sidebar remains at the base of my page so no one will actually see or find it. I wish I could fix it.
sometimes the sidebar is where it needs to be. I have discovered that If I just leave it alone for some time, the ghost of Blogger come and fix it.
So as soon as you finish reading and commenting on my new posts (all of the new ones that you haven't checked out yet), make sure you scroll down the the very bottom and see if your name made the list. I encourage everyone to go and checkout
The Family Man http://thefamilymanblog.blogspot.com/
he's a funny story teller and deserves an audience.
So much for this announcement, I 'll write more when I feel like it, for now I think I'm just going to surf the web.

Avery's Nursery

http://www.poshtots.com/catalog/205/5427/product_detail.asp

If we had the money, this is what I would do For Avery's nursery
unfortunately, She's going to have to enjoy a previously owned crib with Greatful Dead Dancing Bears.

Jamie sqwishing my nose 

Hormones

I went to see my shrink today. I would have had a lot to complain to her about had Jaime not been good to me lastnight.
The past several weeks have been rough on me. For whatever reason I felt that Jaime was only with me to get the baby after it was born... His response back was that he could leave me now and still get his kid after the birth. Not quite what a pregnant woman needs to hear. I just was being lonely and wanted him to comfort me. Finally it must have caught up with him. Last night after he got home from work, he wanted me to stay up with him, he was only going to play one game of Kuma War and then come to the bedroom.
I wondered what his intentions were, I know that its rare for him to step away from the computer after only one game but it interested me enough to test his sincerity. After about 20 min. I decided that I was going to brush my teeth and head to bed, if Jaime wanted something, he should not have started playing computer games.
Just as I was about to jump into my cozy bed, he comes in and lights a couple candles around the room and runs off to the bathroom, ...What could this mean? Why did he light the candles? Is he trying to 'set the mood'? I couldn't put my sleeping mask on yet, I was starting to get nervous about what Jaime wanted me to stay up for.

I really got nervous when he came to the side of the bed with a bottle of lotion...


He was trying to be sweet, He gave me the most pleasurable foot and calf massages. What a terrific guy! And I had been all emotional thinking he didn't care anymore about me....Hormones man, what a crazy thing.

IF YOU DONT WANT TO BIRTH AT A HOSPITAL THERE'S ALWAYS....

http://gentlebirth.org/archives/birth.html#36weeks
(scroll down to hotelbirthing)

Not just home births, these people are talking about using a hotel room to give birth in !!!!

JIFFYLUBE FOR LABOR

http://www.jiffylube.com/Company/womans_safe_moth.aspx


1 in 300 births occur in a motorvehicle!

Jiffy lube gives instructions!!!?

Robyn (hiding double chin) being lazy with her baby Riddler

Spirit Calling

Not bright stuff personally but an interesting article

spirit calling is a way to bring your spirit back to you. I've been the victim of a physical assault and am trying to learn who I am again(it's kinda like having to start from square one and figure out what makes me who I am today, I had the past raped out of me) with the help of some counseling....Maybe I just need to have a spirit calling ceremony.

If I only knew then, what I know now (PCC)

So this tagging got me thinking about my past. 10 years ago I felt so young. There was nothing but the future and freedom and fun experiences in store for me. If only I knew then what I know now......
10 years ago my first attempt at college was snagged by a couple wrong decisions. First of all, I was 17 years old and a senior at Keller High school. By Jan. 3 I was enrolled at Pensacola Christian College with my best girlfriend Josanna. She had been an old homeschool buddy that spent that Christmas holiday with me and my family.
She was impressing my parent with the fact that she finished her studies early and was heading off to College when out of the blue, Josanna blurts out that, 'Why don't You come too?!...We could room together....!!!"
That was all my parents needed. If I could get accepted as I was , the middle of my senior year, then why shouldn't I get shipped off to school? That way, Daddy wouldn't have to deal with what to do with me when I turned 18 in a couple of months.
(that's the truth of my teenage years)
I wasn't a bad kid by anymeans, was an A/B Honor Roll student, Worked a job straight after getting out of class each day, attended Sunday school/Church every Sunday, Just for what ever reason, my daddy had washed his hands of me the day I turned 18.... Pensacola Christian college solved that problem.
After that first Semester I begged to be allowed to come home and see my friends. After running to Florida for what seemed like a good Faith based College,Josanna and I were not close anymore, I kept thinking how I had missed going to Prom, Graduation, the works with my friend back home and I missed it terribly.
I did have an excellent time studing at PCC. I was working in the Communications field and had some exciting experiences in my sound/radio lab. (plus a crush on my teacher didn't hurt) However, the initial haze of 'wow, wouldn't it be cool to go to school out of state, with your best girlfriend, in Florida close to the beach...' never came close to the horror and unrealistic practices of my first College experience.
They made me feel more like a child there then I felt at my parent house. Everyday, they came and checked the students room, to make sure that the beds were made, radio was set on the College station, that no one was skipping Chapel.....
Not to mention trying to get off campus was not worth the hassle. We had to get invited by a Senior, who had to get permission slips from the Dean, and then we could only go out with the same sex, and must return by sundown. If for anyreason we broke any of the rules, we were given demerits and told what sinners we were.
I just couldn't take it, My Faith couldn't endure in such oppressive times. College was suposde to be a time for growth, to turn 18 and become an adult, All PCC did was tie us up like dogs and teach us tricks of Christianity,,,, wear dresses, wear pantyhose, It's a sin to be seen outside with out your Bible.... that school is WACK!
To get back to my point, if I had known that PCC would have been so radical, I wouldn't have left highschool early. That summer I came back to Texas, realizing that I didn't have a Highschool Diploma, so I took my GED and ended up having to attend a local Junior College. The thing that topped off my frustration with going to Pensacola Christian, was that it's not Accreditted. When I tried to transfer to the junior college here in Texas, None of my 16 hours counted. I missed out on my Senior year in Highschool for nothing.


Two months later, Back home and 18 I could sense that I wasnt wanted around, and I moved out into the first available place. Apartment 85D in NorthRichland hills with Two guys I knew from highschool. Both of the guys were dorks and full of teen angst, but I was reading Kerouac back then and was a bit 'Beat' obsessed so it worked out.
My parents howled that I was living in sin, So at the tender age of 19 I married one of the guys.. I wore a black dress to signify the worst day in my life. I didnt love him, I felt sorry for him and knew that I made his world so I did it to get my parents to shut up. In my head I was waiting for my first love to show up and stop the cerrimony, but he didnt. I was married to an acne scarred, teenage boy.
If youre a parent of a young girl, please dont push her /or ever make her feel unwanted. That's when we go looking for acceptance in the wrong places and make the dumbest choices

I'm IT!!!!

It's my first tag! Thank you RAVEN http://ravenslog.blogspot.com/, I still don't know how to inlay peoples names so please forgive me. Here'goes...

10 years ago, I....
1. let my girlfriend Dye my hair black and chop it off
2. First year of College at Pensacola Christian
3. Had the worst acne from sunscreen I used on my face
4. Spent summer in Florida
5. Met my X husband

5 years ago, I....
1. Had to go into Fortworth to Pee everyother day for one year
2. Put together Massiv Festival One with over 8,000 'raver's in attendance
3. Had my own office I worked from
4. Wanted to find Mr. Right and start a family
5. Drove silver VW jetta

Today I ....
1. Visited my friend Tommy's new casa
2. Sat up at the Medicaid office to get my card they failed to mail for the month of June
3. Tried to show friendship to a stranger Amanda
4. Hugged Avery's grandmother
5. Drank a huge glass of Ice tea

Tomorrow, I will....
1. Hear Avery's heart beat
2. Pee in a cup
3. Get weighed
4. not worry over how heavy I have gotten
5. Call my sister

5 Snacks I Enjoy:
1. Cheese
2. Milk
3. Icecream
4. Banana's
5. Broccoli

5 Songs I know all the words to, even with out the Music:
1. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
2. God bless America
3. Mrs. Robinson (simon&garfunkel)
4. Casey Jones (grateful Dead)
5. Brain Damage (eminem)


5 Things I would do with $100,000,000:
1. Buy my Dad a boat
2. Buy a Beach house for me
3. Take my Cats to a Shrink
4. Take time off and travel around the world
5. Buy my sweety his stupid Jet ski's (oh, I'm sorry...It's 'turbo jet ski's' that he's yelling about)

Top 5 Locations I'd run away to:
1. Venice
2. Switzerland
3. Monaco
4. Chicago
5. Redwood Forest

5 Bad habits I have:
1. Lying (making stuff up for entertainment)
2. Believing everything people tell me
3. Not vacuuming enough (my carpet is cathair shag)
4. Gossiping
5. Complaining

5 Things I like Doing:
1. Lying
2. Making people laugh
3. Dancing
4. Ironing
5. Bathing

5 Things I would Never Wear:
1. Fur coat made from kitties
2. A size 2
3. A mustache
4. Mullet
5. Fish scales


TV Shows I like:
1. CSI
2. Little house on the prairie
3. The Apprentice
4. Funny Home Videos
5. The X Files

5 Movies I like:
1. Blow
2. Muppets take Manhattan
3. American history X
4. Thelma and Louise
5. Fists of Fury (jet li)

5 Famous people I'd like to Meet:
1. Burt Reynolds (he's old shool HOT!)
2. Johnny Depp
3. Martha Stewart
4. Betsy Ross
5. The little Mermaid

5 Biggest Joys at the Moment:
1. My Baby is due in less then 80 days!!!!
2. My little brother Roman graduated HS
3. My Boobies have busted out from B's to C++
4. I have a 'cute pregnant' look now and not just looking fat
5. I have good people in my life

I had a great time trying to answer these. hope you got a better feel of who I am.
Now I tag:
Kimberly http://singlegirlin817.blogspot.com/ ,
Chris http://conversazione.blogspot.com/ and
Jamie Dawn http://jamiesmindlessblather.blogspot.com/

What my insides look like

http://www.babycenter.com/general/fetaldevelopment/pregnancy/3282.html

check out what goes on with a womans body during pregnancy. Dont fear, it's nothing gross, just a little short of a miracle!