Batman and Daddyhood
Batman had his first father's day this past weekend. It was really quite exciting when you consider that there really are not a whole lot of "first" when you get to be our age.
I was wanting to get him something really special and I came up with the idea of getting him a new watch. Specifically one that kept track of seconds that way when I go into labor, he will be able to time my contractions.
Since he's technically not gotten to see his daughter yet, it really makes this father's day unique, I just cant wait for when Avery is here and the Fatherhood has been worn for a little bit and Jamie has a feel for what Father's day means to him.
Right now, it's still forming and fatherhood is only a dream, we can only speculate what kinda Dad Batman will be. I'm sure he will be great, as long as he doesn't run away from it.....I don't know why, but I have some weird fear that Jamie will be overwhelmed with the responsibility. I have heard too many cases where the Dad wants to participate in raising his child but is unable to keep up with the responsibility 24 hours a day. And in the end the child is simply raised by the mom.
Maybe it's because Jamie didn't marry me and I fear being a single mother....He plans to marry me but his reason is that he wants to marry for love, not just because we have a baby....If he only understood that maybe it would be loving of him to marry me and secure my idea of "us" before this kid gets here....Not like I want to be all fat and pregnant during the wedding but honestly that doesn't really matter one little bit....I kinda feel him putting it off is making me wonder if I really do want to marry this guy, or am I just cutting my nose off to spite my face?
I also believe that pregnant woman should put off making big decisions until life has settled down a bit. There are too many hormones going rampant and feelings get blown way out of proportion. so I'll just sit here and be pregnant for another 60 sum odd days and see if my mind ever returns to me.
It's just so scary to think how life is changing and how It's just going to keep on changing weather I keep up with it or not....I 'm excited but I'm worn out already. I guess I worry about Jamie and Me and how having a baby is going to change how we interact with one another. He's not going to just be 'my sweetie',,,he's also becoming a Dad to my daughter and that means that He will be the strongest male influence on her young mind,,
It's frightening because he just doesn't measure up when I compare him to what I feel about my DaD. I want Avery to have the best....Guess Jamie's going to have to figure it out in the same way I'm going to have to figure out what being a Mom Is.
I was wanting to get him something really special and I came up with the idea of getting him a new watch. Specifically one that kept track of seconds that way when I go into labor, he will be able to time my contractions.
Since he's technically not gotten to see his daughter yet, it really makes this father's day unique, I just cant wait for when Avery is here and the Fatherhood has been worn for a little bit and Jamie has a feel for what Father's day means to him.
Right now, it's still forming and fatherhood is only a dream, we can only speculate what kinda Dad Batman will be. I'm sure he will be great, as long as he doesn't run away from it.....I don't know why, but I have some weird fear that Jamie will be overwhelmed with the responsibility. I have heard too many cases where the Dad wants to participate in raising his child but is unable to keep up with the responsibility 24 hours a day. And in the end the child is simply raised by the mom.
Maybe it's because Jamie didn't marry me and I fear being a single mother....He plans to marry me but his reason is that he wants to marry for love, not just because we have a baby....If he only understood that maybe it would be loving of him to marry me and secure my idea of "us" before this kid gets here....Not like I want to be all fat and pregnant during the wedding but honestly that doesn't really matter one little bit....I kinda feel him putting it off is making me wonder if I really do want to marry this guy, or am I just cutting my nose off to spite my face?
I also believe that pregnant woman should put off making big decisions until life has settled down a bit. There are too many hormones going rampant and feelings get blown way out of proportion. so I'll just sit here and be pregnant for another 60 sum odd days and see if my mind ever returns to me.
It's just so scary to think how life is changing and how It's just going to keep on changing weather I keep up with it or not....I 'm excited but I'm worn out already. I guess I worry about Jamie and Me and how having a baby is going to change how we interact with one another. He's not going to just be 'my sweetie',,,he's also becoming a Dad to my daughter and that means that He will be the strongest male influence on her young mind,,
It's frightening because he just doesn't measure up when I compare him to what I feel about my DaD. I want Avery to have the best....Guess Jamie's going to have to figure it out in the same way I'm going to have to figure out what being a Mom Is.
posted by Avery's mom at 3:06 PM
4 Comments:
wow girl, that's a lot to think about, huh?
i think the gift that you got him was great. you're a thoughtful and loving woman and partner.
one thing that you said concerns me: "Maybe it's because Jamie didn't marry me and I fear being a single mother....He plans to marry me but his reason is that he wants to marry for love, not just because we have a baby...." doesn't he already love you? i'm sure he would say yes, but how can you have a baby with someone that you're not in love with ... especially if you live with that person?
i totally understand how you feel .. that marrying you now would be the most loving thing he could do .. it would make you feel more secure and relaxed, which is so important.
yes, having Avery will change everything. you are no longer just a "couple" but you'll be a family. every decision you make from this point forward will be done with her in mind .. from going to the grocery store to the biggest of decisions.
sending you big hugs girl ... (( hugs ))
Oh thank you raven,,i feel the exact same way about him loving me. I know he said he wants to get married for love, and we made little avery out of love, he just didnt want people to push us to get married simply because of a pregnancy. to be truthful, we should have gotten married a couple years ago before all of this. now we have to think how old should Avery be before we marry...If it's not one thing, it's another
Wow you've had a lot on your mind. I hope that you are able to find peace and comfort. I agree with you that no major decisions should be made during pregnancy if at all possible. You want to be completely clearheaded. Although it is hard, hang in there. I understand your fears (trust me) but know that even if the worst case scenario was to play out you would have the support (especially in your amazing father) and that you would eventually find a way to make it work. I do hope that everything turns out the way you want it to, but I want you to be careful of "cutting off your nose to spite your face". Sometimes, even your fear of the alternatives should not keep you tied into a relationship (take me for example!). You have a very good head on your shoulders, and from what you've told me Batman will be there to see you through so try to enjoy your final days of being pregnant (as much as you can in that midsummer heat!) because you only get this "first time" experience once!
Oh, SHaN,,,Thank you for bringing me back to earth..It is a happy time indeed and I'm going to be at so much peace, I just have to keep telling myself that
Post a Comment
<< Home