I'm it ! ----was tagged by patty

4 jobs I've had in my life:
Kroger cashier while in HS, Mail room clerk, waitress while in College, Massage Therapist

4 movies I could watch over and over:
Benny & Joon, 50 first dates, Chocolate, Shrek

4 TV shows I love to watch:
nightly news, dateline, 20/20 , America's funny home video

4 places where I have lived:
Grandrapids, MI. NYC, NY. , FortWorth and Colleyville , TX.

4 places I've been to on vacation:
Munich Germany, Lurcerne Switzerland, all over Italy, and London

4 places I'd rather be:
in a Hottub, on a massage table, Honolulu Beach, Windsurfing

4 of my favorite foods:
broccoli, Milk, pears, Mother in laws Apple Pie

4 people to pass the baton to:
Heather, http://shtezq.blogspot.com/
Amber, http://ambermum.blogspot.com/
Chris, http://conversazione.blogspot.com/
Kimberly http://whatchawaitingfor.blogspot.com/

Who doesnt want to have a Daughter?

Avery is wearing her pink velvet skirt (yes, it's on her head) with matching pink bunny shoes ; accessoriesed with bright yellow jingling rattle and FAVORITE tie dye unicorn


and you cant help but notice the excitement in her smile....such a fun little woman


each day Avery gets bigger and more demanding of me , who knew that having a child would be such a challenge and it's only been 4 months of life with her. She's learned that screaming gets my attention and Fast. when ever she yells in her tiny highpiched squeal, I jump to see that she's alright and she freezes followed by her laughing at me. such a joke for someone so little, to be able to control her mommy in that way

Halfnekkid Thursday

so the other day as Avery was waking up from her nap, Batman happened to follow me into her nursery. I notice that her diaper was...shall we say, 'fully loaded' and decide that Batman needs to do some Daddy chores so I make a B-line for the door allowing him to greet our little sunshine from her nap. (its nice when you have back up like that, but i did have to be sneaky about it and allow for him to make the discovery on his own)
a few minutes later i come back down the hallway and stop before arriving at Avery's door and listen. Typically when there is diaper business going on, there's chatter and silly sounds from me. I was a little concerned when I realize that there was complete silence in her nursery, so I round the corner to find Batman with a towel wrapped around his nose and mouth. wussy man!

yup, thats Batman wearing his mask to change Avery.

ANd you all must go over and check out Heather's First HNT post http://shtezq.blogspot.com/

my dad and Avery at the hospital when she was born
i was nervous about complaining so openly about batman but as luck would have it, yesterday when he came home everything was sweet. he called an hour before leaving work and offered to bring home dinner, he actually stayed home with Avery and myself (instead of running off to play with the guys like he does more frequently then not) , and then to top it off he sat and watched two hours of the bachelor in paris with me (?) during which he rubbed my neck and shoulders (? )
I know I married him for a reason even if things get tense between us at times but i guess a guy cant possibly be expected to be 'wonderful' 24/7 , so I take what I can and am thankful for the nice moments.

yesturday I had to be my dads caregiver and take him up to have a angiogram or arithricscope or somthing or other (scope in his newly healed shoulder) he had surgery right before avery was born and now theres a grinding/clicking sound when he rotates it so the doc's wanted to check it out. while he was getting his proceedure done, avery and i wondered around and discovered a duck pond across the street and we STROlled the duckies into the water...i think she was more fascinated by the geyser waterfountain in the middle of the duck pond then by the ducks themselves.
when we got back to pick up dad, he was medicated and kept repeating about how they had hurt his arm and then would follow it up with how thankful he was that i was there to drive him home. he said this like 3-4 times on our drive home.
He was so sweet and called my mom (out in Florida still with her mother), to tell her that he had made the appointment and was ok and that they had hurt his arm.....he dropped the phone a couple of times , I was driving, and i dont know if it was the pain or the medicine but I hate seeing my dad weak like that. it just crushes me. the point was that I think he's starting to really miss my mom. they dont get along that well and have a highly disfunctional marriage of 38years but I guess in her absence he's gotten a bit mushy. a couple day's ago while i was over at their home, DAd walks into the kitchen holding a bad of peanut M&M's and I questioned what's up with the chocolate?......he replies with , "it's your moms favorite comfort food. I miss her so I'm going to mail this to her." my jaw about drops to the floor unbelieving that my dad said something so sweet about my mother. those two are forever bickering and it's so nice to hear them or at least my dad say things about his feelings of love for her.
dont know what else I did yesterday to be blessed today, but Dad met up with me and Avery while I was getting an alignment for my car and we all went to toys r Us and Avery got a new HighCHair.....!!!! We've already torn it from the box and have it set up in the living room right now (picture will come soon) She's such a big girl now and wants to sit up in a seat when i give her any babyfood...so far it's been rice cereal and we tried a jar of greenbeans(her face was priceless on that first taste) and now AVery has a fancy , and I do mean TOP of the LINe baby highchair. I'm so proud of her and My Dad is Awsome!! I couldnt be more blessed to have him as my dad. there's a disclaimer about the teenage years but we are well past that now.

so thanks to every one for hearing me vent, i appreciate your comments and take them to heart. I pray everyone of you is well and that tomorrow finds you even better.

what our weekend was

the picture is a couple weeks old....batman couldnt figure out the best way to get past the bedroom door
it's monday and i'm going to make this quick. the weekend was alright, I'm still very disturbed with BAtmans predicament and we are still not talking about it. He and I went out to dinner while leaving Avery with his parents for a hour, it was so nice to be on a date with only the two of us, after last weekend at the birthday party I told him I needed some 'us' time and we got it , so yay for us on Saturday having a date.
Sunday we had RAIn and the sky was gray, and it was cold . such a nice change form the sunny 70's we've been seeing. It's been 8 or so weeks since we last had any rain and waking up to the sound of it pouring down on the roof, kinda had me baffled for a few moments till I could remember what the sound was. I think it took a clap of thunder to clearly determine in my mind that it was raining. I am so very thankful and refreshed by it however the burn ban continues for the state of Texas.
Sunday evening we went and visited my Indian Friend Robert at his Shell station. kinda weird to stand around a convience store but that's where he spends all of his time anymore. it was nice getting to visit him except for the fact that I ended up punching Batman in the jaw and he retaliated by twisting my forarm 540degrees....its not cool and he wasnt taking any responsability even afterwards when I apologized....(I wish I could have punched him harder) yeah, I know I probably shouldnt mention our altercation, it only makes my blood boil and you think I'm in a heap of a mess worse then I am. I just want to get it out so forgive me and please dont talk about abusive relationships. He's simply a bully, not a wife beater...............anyway, so Sunday we had rain. this morning(Monday) I chose not to comunicate with Him and he walked out the door trying to get an 'i love you' from me, but I just wasnt feeling it. this weekend I had asked for him to make a bigger effort for him to show me love in a physical way, i.e. holding my hand, touching my knee, caressing my face and in the end he hurts me (not quite what I needed)
so to close this up, I was already feeling down about him getting locked away for his driving trouble but now I'm having these emotions where I just want to withdraw from caring anymore. it's not "Simon says" in our house but instead its "Batman says" and I almost look forward to the break, that's not wrong is it?

If I dont protect my Daughters future, there will be no home for her



If I ever own a piece of this Earth I want to plant beautiful life

If I ever have a garden I want bunnies hopping around in it

"Rabbits have been used as pets in the United States for many years. However, there are many commercial rabbitries and rabbit meat is reportedly lower in cholesterol than any other meat available.
The life expectancy of a rabbit is generally around 4-5 years with proper care and nutrition. Rabbits can live a little longer but it is recommended that you replace 1/4 of your rabbitry each year if you are a commercial grower." ~The Internet Farm Index of the United States~

yeah, it all comes down to what's for dinner and when my daughter has her teeth, she wont be eating at my tit.


I'm down in the dumps so I'm putting up pretty pictures because I ran out of affirmations

I think I' m in a slump. dont want to call it depressed but my mind and heart are not well
this week Batman and I discovered some new Drama to kick off 2006. i though it was all done with, i mean we got through the pregnancy, wound up getting married , our baby girl is healthy and managed to keep away from this bug of a sinus infection i've been suffering with for 2 weeks now and I figured what could possibly be around the corner for us, life was looking pretty sweet and then............
Batman went to court over a stupid incedent that happened last march and it looks like he's going to have to do some time. Words can not express my disapointment and frustration with this scenario. I dont want to be dealing with his crumby legal matters. I thought it was all behind him. and there's not a thing we can do about it. several years ago he got a DWI and completed the required penalties and I understand the severity of the charge but why the hell does he need to go back to jail. I cant even talk about it, it just makes me want to throw up, i want to give up, i dont want to deal with this stupidity. We're barely making it as a new family and now i am getting to taste what its like to raise a daughter who's daddy is locked up.....
I may not be writing very much for awhile just because i feel like running away
I'm contemplating taking a vacation just Avery and myself while he's doing his stint behind bars, i need a frickin break.
and to top it all off, I'm feeling a little guilty for thinking only about me.....as a good wife, i should be concerned with how Batman is going to be and his emotions at this time. Screw it! he's done this shit before, he's a pro

HNT- our Eyes

I kept thinking tomorrow was Thursday till I realize everyone else was posting NalfNekkid thursday pictures already. man, I need to get with the program....or at least catch up on some sleep. ThankGod I'm a cheat and I have a file full of nekkid shots premade. I'm going to have to get creative soon and make some more but untill then, I give you our eyes from a month ago. Avery's the top, Batman the middle and I'm the one with the ginormous pores at the bottom. try and not fall in Kay?

if you dont know what Halfnekkid Thursday is about, then check out my link to Osbasso on the right.

Sadako Story-

Read this_

http://www.sadako.org/sadakostory.htm

"This is our cry, This is our prayer, Peace in the world".

party central

(ok, you guys now see why Batman was covering his face for HNT last week) he just wont take normal pictures. these are from christmas but I thought I should post something at the top of this long ramble here it goes..............

This weekend was busy, I went out both on Friday and Saturday leaving Avery behind, I think it was good that I stayed home and recouped with her on Sunday otherwise she might have begun to forget her dear mommy.

Evidentaly Batmans mother was bugging him all last week to babysit for us and we needed to come up with plans for him and i to go out. Lisa had gone out and purchased supplies of diapers, wipes, paccifier, pajamas, she even picked up formula and rice cereal....I was impressed with her efforts and it has been months since Batman and I have gotten to get away so I decided to give in and try and make the most of leaving my baby behind.
we dropped her off at the grandparents home around 830pm and I was in tears because Batman kept rushing me and I was just wanting to give lisa some last minute intructions to make sure that she new Avery had on a clean diaper and it didnt need checked for awhile.
Batman had to yell at me to get me to leave and head out the door...it did not start things out on the right foot let me tell you. we went to meet up with his buddy Burrito and his date lauren (I thought she was ugly but I guess B was happy to have a girl around) and we all headed out to Sherlocks pub for a suprise birthday party for our other girlfriend Nicki. her husband works with burrito and we have gotten together with these people before for the bob marley festival. great people, great fun.
the evening goes by and Batman spends it talking with his buddies, I start up a conversation with a new girl who joined the group and we spend the evening talking about nursing and when it's ok to stop...her name was Robin and she has a 9 month old and was super sweet to me. I just wish i was capable of talking about non-motherly things
we drank a couple shots of jimbeam..Batmans favorite then it was time to go and find out how Avery had done at her Grandmothers...
it was 1130pm and we got there, and she was asleep! I figured that avery was going to be too stimulated with her grandparents and new location away from us that she would be up but i guess my little darling girl was pooped after all the play she had with grandma. It was a Nice feeling to know I can leave her with someone, but I really would have enjoyed Batman and me time , to going out and not really saying one word to each other like we did. it was really kinda lonely to be on a date, him talking with the guys and me chatting with the ladies.

friday we celebrated my good friend kimberly's 29th birthday. it was in preperation to going out Saturday but I got out of the house and jamie kept Avery for me at home. I was a little uptight for the first hour just being away from her (untill the wine kicked in). I was nervous about having to drive out to dallas on my own...I just am a wreck anytime I'm out on my own and then to have to manuvere the crazy traffic on a Friday night was not ideal. Thankfully I was able to hook up with her dad and his nice girlfriend Gail for the drive. we had a great time talking about kim and myself growing up as teenagers. her dad is such a fun man and gail was a blast. the party was at the MAgic time machine and we really partied it up. for those of you who dont know about the magic time machine..its a busy resturant where all the tables are decorated in crazy ways like a teepee, old schoolbus, or wizards hat. just to give you an idea of the menu, we all had a Roman orgy...think what you will, I was stuffed!
and to top it all off the staff dresses up in costumes. kim had gone there with another group of girls about a month ago and their waiter was Superman but unfortuantely he was off the night of her birthday party so we were waited on my Tinkerbell...she was a hoot! she was short in stature and words and was borderline rude but it fit her little sprite self. Happy birthday to Kim! the picture is of kimberly at my wedding, I forgot to take the camera to her party, actually i didnt forget, we're just having trouble with the battery so I left it at home. I wish we had taken some pictures because I was feeling awfullly cute that night. I managed to get myself dressed up and had on a black pushup bra, it's been awhile of wearing only nursing bras so the cleavage suprised me. one more thing that is making me think of maybe not nursing for forever.

I have to announce a new life

(HNT is below)
Patty has given birth to her baby taco http://wingedfox.blogspot.com/
I woke up to the message :

"sidney blake, 12.10am, 6lbs 12oz, 20 1/2 inches and sooo handsome!"

I havent heard anything else, I'm sure she's resting and glowing and ever so happy with her new bundle of joy. congratulations Patty and

Welcome little Sidney Blake to this big wide world

HNT-No Nekkid in this house

would you pose for me BAtman?



the answers in the question

Avery had me up 5 times last night. i dont know how she's as smart as she is when she doesnt get any rest...she's going to keep me braindead with this lack of sleep.
last night's dinner was fun, Emily came over to my parents home and cooked spaghetti purtorican style and Avery sat on my lap while we ate. Everytime we sit down to eat dinner, my daughter acts like she's intrested in trying what we have on our plate. I pretended to give her a noodle and Avery actually swollowed some of it so we decided that maybe giving her some bananas from the banana pudding dessert would be ok
we stripped her out of her clothes and she sat on my lap in just her diaper scarffing down "nanners" and was so happy. I think that is what could have been the trouble with her sleeping lastnight. I 've read that when introducing new foods to a baby, their sleep patterns can be disturbed somehow. Thankfully there was no alergic reaction, choking or other hazard. I honestly can say , I dont know what i'm doing with this little rugrat. I'm just winging it as far as keeping her happy and fed and entertained. She's so strong and has such intrest for the world around her, i cant imagine waiting for her to turn 6 months before allowing her to sample different things. I do wish that I could get more sleep at night. the past several days have been such a joke trying to deal with her during the night while being sick. but the good news is that I think I have kicked most of this cold. I still have a mild cough that rattles in my chest, but the congestion in my head is cleared up. I recieved a phone call from Batman saying he needs for me to bring him up some medicine...isnt it ironic that I was worried about giving my cold to my baby but in reality the bozo that got to sleep through the night because "he works" is the one that caught what i had. Guess maybe I need to change the sheets in the bed :) there must be some bug lurking in between them.
and the most intresting and exciting thing that is going on these past few days is my blogfriend patty http://wingedfox.blogspot.com/ is bringing her baby into the world as we speak. Shes' been held up at the hospital since monday and they started the pitocin this morning. soon we will know if her baby taco is a he or she. Such a suprise for such a great girl. just hanging around the phone waiting to hear the good news.

brother Rory giving bunny ears to girlfriend Emily at my wedding
well, today is another day stuck at home with the baby. I was going to head over to my dad's to cook dinner for him and my brothers but it seems Emily (Rory's GF) has beat me to it. maybe Avery and I will still drop by to see what she's up to in the kitchen.

still sick, the baby wont sleep/nap so this post is short

milking the mommy

I'm frustrated right now about my situation in life. BAtman doesnt earn enough to keep us housed and diapered so I'm feeling immense amount of pressure to get back to working. and somehow its reflecting in my time with Avery. I know that if i go back to working, I wont be available for her every moment of the day and that this nursing thing will suffer. She's such a great baby and enjoys her time with me but it breaks my heart to think that I wont be able to nurse her much longer. I could try again to pump, but I never managed the 'milking' technique. and truthfully, I think Avery simply nurses for the emotional comfort of being close to me.
I just feel like giving up.
She's 4 months old, and we started her on Rice cereal which she eats about 4 tablespoons of a day . but like last night, I'm still getting up every 2 hours with this girl and its so exhausting (plus the fact that I'm sick doesnt help) I dont want to feel bad about giving up on the nursing this early. I was hopeing to at least make it till Avery was 6 months if not a year. I think I would look at it as a failure in mommyhood. there is just so much stress around me right now. and I know that can affect my milk supply,
so I have to measure my desire to be a nursing mother agaisnt paying bills~~~~~~~~~~~~
ARGH! its such a shitty place to be in and I want to strangel Batman for putting me in such a crumby positon. He's the man, why cant he go and work a real job instead of flipping burgers?. the little punk said the other day that he cant wait for me to go back to work....wtf?.....boy that got me so steamed, I just want to hit him when he's so callouse about the work that i do 24 hours a fricking day. he doesnt get it, he says i have to be the one to comfort avery during the night because he's the one that is working and he needs his sleep, so I get absolutely no help.
it would be one thing if he was covering our bills but the truth of the matter is that every month I am having to ask my dad for money. so screw batman and his 'im working' attitude, he needs to grow some breast and take over the role of mommy if he wants me to step up and take back over our finances. lousy pilgrim coming to my world, eating my cornbread and calling it a holiday while i do the dishes.

5 weird habits- I've been double tagged

Here are the rules “The first player of this game starts with the topic ‘five weird habits of yourself and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well and state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Dont forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says, You are tagged (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours


My five Weird Habits (aside from keeping a journal for the public to snoop in) :

1. I suffer a phobiea of my feet touching the floor when its dark , so at night when I have to turn the light off in the bedroom, I hit the switch and run like hell; leaping into the bed

2. my mother used to water down the apple juice to save money when i was a little kid and now to this day, I have to water down whatever fruit juice I drink by 50% otherwise i get sick

3. I save everything especially groceries, BAtman is constantly having to empty out fugis covered tupperware from the fridge

4. I name the rocks out in my garden after members of my family and do voodoo magic with them according to their placement

5. I count the snaps as I close up Avery's crotch from changing her diaper,,somehow I think she's learning her numbers when I count outloud.


and now to tagg some other friends if they so choose to complete the task are:

http://badnewsblonde.blogspot.com/ Aughra
http://shtezq.blogspot.com/ Heather
http://wingedfox.blogspot.com/ Patty
http://littlesweetdreams.blogspot.com/ Stephanie
http://ambermum.blogspot.com/ Amber
http://swimjubi.blogspot.com/ Jubi

HNT _ a cup of tea to make you well

I believe Osbasso- condunctor of HalfNekkid THursday is ill, I must have picked something up from talking to him because now my throat is soar. either that or its from yelling at my baby :) she wasnt feeling very good yesterday due to the 4 vaccinations she received and at one point I started to mimic her....I think I must have strained my voice because now its all scratchy. Thus the cup of tea
Hope you start feeling better Os. I really dont like to scream at my baby and i dont want to have to mimic you in your illness. drink up and feel well :)

4 months of healthy living

Avery goes to the pediatrician today and we get to see how much my baby has grown over the past 2 months. this will be her 4month check up and the last time she got nasty shots in her chubby thighs. the nurse was quick about it but it still hurt and I even let out a cry because it hurts to see your baby getting shots.
I dont want to go today...we're going to get 4 more shots and Its just awful. last time avery was so sick and felt miserable afterwards. those vaccinations really wiped her out. I've read that the first dose is the toughest on the kids, that the secondary doses go much easier...we'll see.
I really dont want to go and make my daughter deal with this.
The Last visit Dr. B was saying what a healthy and entertaining girl Avery was. The doc marveled over how bright and happy Avery was and the thing that worries me is that even the Dr. said that Avery's next visit wont be so great. I questioned what the Doc ment by that statement and Dr. B said Avery would remember her office and how its not a 'happy' thing to be there.
Doesnt that about blow!? and I have to keep telling myself that taking my baby in for her vaccinations is what makes me a "Goood Mommy"
I do this because I love her and its what is best for my baby, but why am i so scared?

``````````````````````````````````````````
Update:
we survived and Avery is recouperating with a long nap...those shots just take it out of her and I hate it but I love the peace and quiet for now. there was little if not any anxiety while we sat in the waiting room to see Dr. B. and avery was weighed and measured and the whole time she's just big eyed and staring up at me and wondering what is going on. then once the Doc came in with her funny little accent, avery starts smiling and lightly showing off. Dr. B kept mentioning how long avery's arms are, which that was nice instead of hearing how fat her legs are. we talked about avery becoming a basketball player and the doctor corrected me saying that she would get into what was her intrest...not that i'm a huge pusher of the game but i just figure thats what tall people play right? I told the doc about how i iceskated and the doc said that would be an excelent sport for avery to get into. I wonder what sizes they start making figureskates...gues she needs to learn to walk first.
anyway, my darling girl did really good, she did cry but momma managed to hold it together. I just held her while the nurse ran out the door and avery finally opened her eyes wondering where the lady had gone to that had hurt her. it was over as far as the shots and now we get to suffer through the weepy, weakness that comes from getting vacinations.
at 4 months of age Avery is 17lbs. and 5oz. and is 25 inches long...she's one healthy baby and I'm so very proud of her.
as a reward for getting her shots today, Avery and I went to target and got a bouncy seat, I know she doesnt quite feel like playing just yet but hopefully tomorrow she will be doing better and will want to play.

My New year ROCKED!!!

yeah i know there is a no burn ban on for the state of texas but we had to do something bad together cause thats what us crazy girls do.....the guy at the fireworks stand said thses were legal so dont blame us for your ashes


I had THE MOST fun over the weekend with my girlfriend josanna. she and i have been friends since we were young girls growing up homeschooled together in a bumkin country town in northTexas. we always have such great times but this was especially nice getting to spend with her family and my new husband....even jamie said it was kinda sad to leave their home when it was all over.
she and i have just recently been reunited right before the wedding. some how our lives kinda drifted apart and we did our own seperate things for a couple years and lost track of each other. our moms stayed in touch so I knew that josanna was not lost forever,,I would occasionally hear news about one of her brothers or sisters and wonder where on earth my best longtime girlfriend was at. Turns out that she located me through Blogger.
Man, I had the greatest time over the weekend! my face is glowing from getting to spend time with her family. they are some very unique and special people. I'm so thankful for getting to bring in the new year with them.
that was always our tradition growin up, Josanna and me goofing off with the youth group from church or by ourselves for New years...funny thing is that even jamie was saying that we need to make this a tradition of going down to their home for next year, I guess he must have picked up the vibe that That is our Holiday to spend together. I love josanna so much and Im very happy that God has brought her into my world again. I hope we never lose touch with each other, which is one thing I m horrible about keeping up with. I'm going to do so much better in the coming year to work on maintaining and growing prosperous relationships.
you really have no idea how being with josanna and her family makes me feel. I feel like I'm 10 years younger, 20 pounds lighter, and that I can make the earth roate backwards in the Milkyway (inside joke there) I love that girl and anyone that knows who I am talking about will agree with me. Josanna your amazing!