like the picture? I call it.....suicidal pregant chick with knife
WOW, nothing like revealing your darkest hour to recieve some pretty critical words :) but also some encouragment and I thank you for the encouragment. that's the support i was talking about needing.

I'm a little bit relieved about knowing my parents are going to be around but at the same time I think my brain is in a funk and can only opperate on the negative and worrisome. with all that has gone on, and my hormones out of wack, I'm feeling extremely negative and the funny thing is that I can see it and it makes me more angry about my situation. I just want to not be pregnant anymore.......and then I just want somebody else to take over my role as mother and let me get some sleep and maybe focus on myself for a minute. I need a break.
things are getting better...i keep telling myself this all the time but i still over worry about things. currently how do i get any nesting done when I'm moving back into my parents? do I go over there this evening and sterilize from floor to ceiling? how do I get my own shit moved when I feel like everytime I bend over to pick up avery's toys that I'm about to drop benjamin out between my legs?
I wanna hospital bed and I wanna put my feet up and I dont care if they bother me during the night to draw blood and take my vitals.....it will at least put me in a place where i cant feel like everything falls on my shoulders to take care of.