so yeah, I'm dealing with a beast cause he read my "batman bashing" words in the previous post.
just cause i'm honest about life and say it s more difficult with him home, he has to get his panties in a was and become the jackass of the day. WHen are things going to ever get to normal .
I really do need a lock and key for my diary. i didnt think my words were so hurtful or even wrong. but i guess he feels differently.

happy Family

he came home after a week long trip to Louisanna. we've got our wedding bands back on. seeing how this goes. its been more difficult having him home then dealing with the two babies on my own for a week. Benjamin's got a follow up with the urologist tomorrow. will keep you posted.

sorry i've been so slack on posting on blogger. I've been cheating with my other blog mostly cause the comments i recieve about my personal life are getting to be so hurtful and rude here .

the delete buttons getting to be my closest friend these day's . I'll type something and retract it and try it all over again. nothing's coming out of my head , i've got so many fences up

i've got a notebook on my nightstand that i'll scribble in but I'm thinking i want one of those diaries with the little lock and key.

I drempt lastnight that i was on a scuba diving team, something like a crew of firefighter's but we worked in the water. I had to extract a 12 inch needle from my hand , some sort of pinyfish stuck me and it was painful and freaking having to yank it out myself. my hands have been having trouble with falling asleep during the night and i'm guessing its from all the work and i'm wondering how much more massage is left in them. i want to have inspector gadget parts that i stick on my arms for work,,, little mallets and progs to dig into shoulder blades. it would be a relief to my hands for sure.

another weekend goes by

my boss brought her brother in to keep the kids for an hour while i did an appointment this morning. kids were great, clients were over 30 minutes late and black and then wanted to drop some of the services expected due to lack of funds. i managed to stay helpful even when the girl asked to upgrade her massage to Deep Tissue and i did it complimentary. i figure it was at least important for someone to have a good day.
husband's "out of town" in a nearby state but cant ask the guy when he's coming home. first it was Deffinately by Wednesday but now its sounding more like Friday. I just want him to stick with something. He's wanting things to be fresh for us meaning i dont talk with MFL and he doesnt do drugs behind my back and both leave our mistrust at the door. I'm praying so hard.

so its late and i've got the kids by myself. Oh, I got a New stroller today , the kind that the baby sits forward and the second one faces back or can stand. we'll see how this works out. Got Avery's cardiology appointment on Tuesday this week.

I seriously feel like I've taken my brain and shoved in the garbage desposal..... No, that's my heart and oddly enough, its still trying to beat. I feel like my brain has been to the moon but suffers from sea sickness. yuck!

He took the camera so the pictures i had saved on the memory card and wanted to lift to my blog...... out in the swamps of Louisianna shooting pictures of sweaty construction sites. he better save the ones from Mother's day of me and the kids bc those were beautiful. i was looking forward to sharing.

This week was nice

took the kids to the watergardens again this week. this time Avery was too scared to touch the waterfall and was clinging all over her dad. She was also pretty tired due to not having a nap but the sun was so bright and summery, i just had to sunsceen the kids up and head outdoors.

a trip to the store and I rearanged the shopping cart positions with benjamin sitting in the front and Avery in the basket. after a short while of her sitting and standing and being told to sit back down, i decided to allow her to get out and walk along side the cart. She was so good and i'm so very proud of her. yes, we were walking at a snails pace but i was able to browse the aisle while keeping Avery busy with different items we were shopping for.
I picked up a new bra (pretty lacy tourqoise) and wore it to work today. Not very profesional when my bra was the only sound in the massage room. It was creaking and I sounded like an old pirate ship! Has anybody else ever suffered from nosiey bra syndrome?

busy Thursday and I'm swamped tomorrow and Saturday. Good money comeing my way. thats the way i like it ;)

Mother's Day

i did almost 8hours of massage yesterday and walked out when my boss asked me to stay for one more. i felt bad but rationalized that i was coming in on Mother's day to work a few hours and she could just deal with it.
this morning i had to get the kids ready to go over to my mom's. she took them to church and i went to work. my hands were throbbing this morning and the muscles were thick and fat in my palms but i put on my Mother's day earrings and made the most of my day. i did a hot stone, a maternity and a Thi Stem Massage today.... quite the variety of techniques which made the day go quickly. between appointments, my boss came and notified me that i had a delivery of Flowers from my husband. THE Most Beautiful purple Tulips... my favorite! everybody that came in and saw them commented how pretty they were . they actually were nicer than the Red roses we were passing out to clients for this holiday.
I've decided that now my favortie holiday is Mother's day. I use to say Thanksgiving was but now that i have a whole new Special day that I'm the only one in the family getting to be recognized, its kinda like a Birthday and I love it!~
the kids were great for my mom and avery was asleep napping (first time over there since she was an infant) when i went to pick them up. came home and my husband took me to dinner. oh, and i have to add, he also took the trash out and cleaned the catlitter box without me having to ask. no wonder i love this day, its making him step up. we'll see what happens the rest of the week.

one more sidenote, if you cant say anything nice but instead feel the need to bash me in the comments, just keep it to yourself really. your words are just as bad as what i suffer at his hands so i dont see why you have to make my life ugly with your own nastiness. I understand you feel passionate towards my life being a reader but Go read other blogs or post one of your own. I dont care to be torn down any more then i'm already trying to hold together. Why must you kick somebody when they're down? did no one give you constructive critisizims? there's a difference from what you are leaving in my comments. Just stop really. its a privlidge to read about my life, you should be thankful i have it public. now out of respect, please try to refrain from being mean in my comments. i'm at least one heart that hasnt turned bitter about life and i still belive in the goodness and blessings in this world. I intend to keep that about myself. If you think i'm an idiot..... go read something else

everybody , I'm a wussy lady

cause I take my husband back after several days apart. I dont want to raise these kids by myself and when he comes over to visit there's so much peace restored to Avery's life. She's such a Daddy's girl that i cant think of seperating their lives from each other.
its still stressful from time to time, right now poor Batman has tampons stuck in his ears. Saturday night after i came home from work, batman was feeling bad, his left ear hurt and i suspected an ear infection. in the morning there was blood and we tripped down to ER for a pathetic diagnosis and to pick up some ear drops. today he's got another DR. appointment and hopefully some help. I've only had one ear infection in my life and it was the most horrible pain, i cant imagine what he's suffering right now with both his ears. DAd's said that he's ruptured his eardrum and batman's saying its feeling more permanent today.... might help us out on our arguments if he cant here me nag and tell me to shut up all the time. but seriously , i might have a deaf husband!
we ran out of cottonballs so i offered up a tampon to stuff behind his eardrops this morning before he ran off to work. I'm such a sucker for the underdog, i just wanna help and create "NICE" and i know my family's ever so confused with me and what's happening with the marriage...... i just want things to work and for us to function together as a family. he's put back on his wedding band and is willing to have me help during his affliction which i suppose is the wifely thing i'm to do. just praying this helps us turn a new leaf