its a Full Moon, everyone howl!

i'm not wearing any makeup or clothe's!!! woohoo!!! I got a REAL Massaage tooday! I cried like a baby and all my walls came down. the therapist (bipolar girl from work) stopped after about 25 minutes and said that she wouldnt be able to fix everything in one session but she couldnt leave me this raw so she settled my feathers and left me on the table with stuffy sinuses and crumppled tissue's in my paw..... i was confused by the clock because it felt like i had been there an hour.

had an exahusting day up at the Spa today. worked from 9-6 WITHOUT ANY DOWN TIME... i managed to stuff some bits of a Cheff salad in my mouth while i had two ladies in a "Set ME FREe" body wrap (we guarantee 4-15" in body fat loss in one visit) the first lady lost nearly 11 and not in the area's that she needed and the second girl only shrank about 8 but that's average...
Batman got the notice that he's a wanted man now for Domestic abuse. I told him that it was coming.... he didnt take me seriously . back when the Cops had to come to my work and then the house, my parents brought over photos' from 6 wk's earlier.... ITs consequences he's going to have to face but its just such a slap in the face now that he's seriously and finally seems to have his head out of his ass. He's been so encouragning to me but we both know that this legal mess is only going to pull us against each other. I'll become bitter that i'm left to manage our kids and the fact that he's put me in this spot. It sucks. I dont know what to do.
bipolar therapist seems to be a bit psychic and is offering to do a tarot card reading, SHE's OUT THERE but she give's me alot of credit and I appriciated her care today.
Did you know that tobacco makes an excelent "offering" of gratitude for Tree's when you Hug them and unload all your negative energies onto them?
Think they need a lighter?

yup I repeat myself not only in my personal life but in the things i post on blogger. i think I mentioned the bed making twice... lol SHow's you what a big deal it is to suddenly find myself with a partner that helps out and Actually participates in our lives together.

couple of weeks ago he messed things up at my work. he's no longer allowed legally on the premisses and he disappeared to his mother's house and found my car parked at MFL house... there was no bloodshed but I suffered some pretty brutal name calling for about a week. then it slowly changed into words of him missing me.
HE's made breakfast for me every day, packed lunch for the day's I'm up at the Spa, and we've had several days out at the lake together as a family and its been wonderful. This is the guy that got me to fall for him 6 years ago. I had forgotten. one more topic of praise for Batman, HE Excuses himself after he farts even if he's in the BAthroom! That might not be the most pleasant indicator of improvement for ya but its a relatively BIG thing for him to begin to show consideration for others and a man's going to fart on occasion so I'm thrilled that he's showing some thought towards making my life more pleasant.
I'ld almost go as far as saying he's wonderful and i love him.

life's a long journey and if we can learn from our mistakes and start making each other's life pretty and enjoyable... well, he's just loving life again cause we're being good.
i'm missing MFL but I think that relationship has moved into being friends and comfortable. He never claimed me before and he's not going to now. it hurts but I've come to terms with the relization that he allows the woman to run the show and I'm not in a place that allows for me to chace him.
the last several months of my deteriorating marriage, i made some decisions about future relationships. I've always in the past been the one to Seduce and pick my mate and I've done lousy at picking nice/good guys. I determined that for once I'm going to hold out for the guy to seduce me. i want to be swept off my feet and for the guy to come to me ,,,, Batmans' doing just that and it feels so good. I dont understand how we got so off course but its nice to find my husband's affection and praise once again.

I've had so much going on in my personal life. Batman has left and been done with me. but as of Father;s day been reunited with an old love. I've not known him to be this affectionte and mushy since the first several month of our dating......
\

He's still got jail time ahead of him ...... he's helping me make the bed every morning after we get up/

Work is over booking us. I did over 8 appointments today and i'm expected to work tomorrow... havent seen my boss in over 3 weeks. thinking of opening up my own Spa. dont feeling like sharing my tips with the people that pick up towels occasionally.

benjamin is almost 9 months and has ONE tooth. Avery thinks she's a 2 year old allready and tells me "NO" while stopping her feet.

batman is kissing my ass everyday making the bed as soon as we climb out in the morning. but I'm still uncertain of his long term comittment to the family.

blogger has been put on the back burner and I doubt my skill in posting anymore.

i miss my virtu al frieneds. Rilah, you need to activate your voicemail capabilities so i can leave you a mess next time.


:)

all is floating. no sign of distress for another nautical mile

the urologist pulled on benjamin's lil boy part and made him cry. evidently i wasnt cleaning him well enough and didnt know to yank on it till almost erect. Dr. said he was fine and to not bring him back. made batman smile to hear that jr. size is great. the Dr. just said it looks small now cause Ben's so well fed and has a pooch to hide inside. I'm just glad we dont have to continue with these visits and ben's been given a clean bill of health.

we have to find a childsitter soon. batman's going away for an unknown amount of time and its just going to be me and the babies. think we'll be alright. we were great while he was gone out of state for a week but this time it's probably going to be a month or two. probably wont still be married unless someone speaks up and tells me to do otherwise but no one is. its sad...... these last few days together and i'm trying to create a sense of peace and some happy memories for everyone. we went to the lake with the kids on Sunday, had a date night Monday (dinner/movie) with batman and its all going to be ending in a week. he's not talking about it a whole lot. more worried that i'm going to return to talking with MFl while he's away but if the marriage is over....... I'm just torn in so many ways. ( its jail if yall really were wondering)

oh and it's my parents 38th wedding anniversary today! i've always' dreamed of making it to the Big 50 year anniversary..... i think that year's gift is a trip to the moon. oh well.