today we have our last day to be a family of three. Tomorrow morning I get to rise and shine and hopefully take a shower and possibly shave my legs before heading up to the hospital at 5:30 am to deliver via cesarean. I'm having Belle of Madison http://belleofmadison.blogspot.com/ post the update if everything works out and I remember while in my new mommy haze.
I'm so worried about Avery and how she's going to manage. I'm going to be on my back with nasty staples across my gut trying to pick up nursing again and my sweet little girl wont be able to climb me or wrestle me with a newborn in arms. She's going to have a rough time of it I'm sure. Batman's suppose to be the one in charge of her but at the same time he's wanting to be with the new baby and me but at the same time he's also suppose to be getting our house packed and moved. THere's been so much going on for us this week. I feel Like I've had a small burst of energy trying to get things in order but at the same time I feel like I've gotten absolutely nothing accomplished.
Lastnight I managed to get some sleep but the Dreams were the most Horrible. First I dreamed that I reported to the hospital for surgery but my Doc. Was still working on extracting the baby from some other woman. They put the baby on ice till the Doc could sew the first lady up and I'm left out and starving cause they told me I couldn't eat past midnight the previous night and here the Doc was taking well past noon to deliver my baby and give it to me because he had to finish the operation on the first woman who had my baby. I was getting pretty ticked off with the hospital and the Doctor and when I went to see the status of the lady and what was taking her so long to finish up her surgery...There was suture seam all the way around the woman's arms and fingers and face and legs as though the Doctor had cut her open with a Can opener. The doctor was so tired from being in surgery for so long that he was going to take a break and have some lunch before he got to my appointment and I flipped out because I' had been waiting so long and I simply wanted to have my baby.
that was the FIRST dream, super stressed and high axed feeling. I believe it came from the fact that the hospital called Friday morning and told me not to come in for the PreOpp. Visit but instead I could just show up 2 hrs earlier on my Monday for my surgery.

So on to my next horrible paranoid dream:
I received a phone call that woke me up from some strange mystery caller who was expressing how excited they were about the delivery tomorrow. I've received so much praise and excitement towards this new baby that I've lost track of all the people and exactly who said what, so I'm going along with the conversation and thanking this person and saying that I really needed to go , that I had been resting and the person on teh other end says something like how the baby is going to be theirs and I better watch my back. So of course this person keeps me on the phone longer and each time I try to hang up on them, they say something threatening to keep me scared and on the phone. Well, batman comes into the room and hangs the phone up for me but then it's on speaker phone and we hear this person making reservations at some hotel down the street. I've got every nerve in my body alert and we go check out this hotel and talk with the manager who agrees with us that he only people who stay there are criminals and murderer's. Its broad daylight and I'm wondering if I really need to be worried that this person is after my unborn baby. I'll be delivering tomorrow morning and I just am uneasy about things. I step outside of the hotel office and Avery's being held by batman's aunts and then this fuzzy red headed woman comes up and offers to hold Avery cause she's so cute and smiling and next thing I realize, she's taking off across the grass with Avery in her arms. I ask her to not go any further away while holding my daughter but she doesn't listen and keeps on walking at a very quick pace across the yard. I start to yell and chase her and tell her stop and I'm pulling at Avery trying to get her free from this woman who has the strength and bulk of an Ox. I'm screaming at the aunts infront of the office to get batman to come out and save our baby and when I turn back to this scarry childnapper, she's still got Avery in her clutches but also has her thumb resting in my elbow taking my pulse as if to check on the unborn baby inside of me . I just feel so violated and fearful of this woman and her intentions with my children. It was so horrible , I woke up squeezing the pillow between my knees thinking I had climbed up the side of the woman and was kicking and squeezing her.

so tomorrow I go to deliver my baby, I'm so paranoid that this woman will be behind one of the masks in the delivery room. Do I ask to see everyone's face before they begin?