My Family has lost it
Papa Joe is not going to make it. He isn't alert or eyes open or anything and my Dad reports that he's all bloated and bloodpressure is dropping from earlier today. The repertator isn't going to do any good but draw out his death but they will keep him on it as long as possible in hopes that he makes it through tomorrow which is his 60th wedding anniversary with Gram B.
I tried to talk with mom and even she hasn't been in to see him. It seems that seeing his condition would be too much for her at this point and she has self medicated so that she isn't having to feel/witness his passing.
My sister is currently sick and used that as a reason to not go with my parents Sunday and now she is crying and freaking out about papa Joe and is going to try to fly out tonight in order to get to see him one more time. I'm kinda jealous that she is going to get to see him but I know that he's not going to know that we are even there. I want for him to be able to see his greatgrandaughter but I know that neither of the two will understand what is happening. So I must rest here in Texas knowing that I've seen my papa Joe for the last time.
I actually have peace about it. His health has been quickly deteriorating over the past few months and now this is the end of the line for him. I worry more about the rest of my family had how they are all coping with things.
I guess going through the pregnancy and having to divert stresses away from myself has given me good practice in coping with things. It seems that I'm the only one who has their head on straight and can use any type of logic. I don't know why my sister is panicking now and thinks she needs to see papa Joe. But if that's how she feels, then she needs to go. But why is she speding 400$ to go up there and return in two days? The family is going to have to just be back for the funeral...I don't know. If her reason is to see papa Joe one last time, I think she is making a bit of a mistake. If my sister is wanting to go to help be a support for our parents then that makes a bit more sense. But with everyone being so sad and weak, I don't see her being of any assistance. She was trying to tell me that I needed to pack up Avery and fly with her....I don't know about taking my baby on a plane just yet. She's not even 3 weeks yet and the cabin pressure has always been trouble that I don't want to deal with not to mention trying to nurse her every two hours. I kinda feel bad that I'm not panicking and rushing around mad right now. But then I don't because I know I'm actually keeping things together and that is probably the best thing to be done right now.
I still love my family and care deeply about my papa joe's passing. I have so many memories of summer vacation at their home but I know that If I rush out this evening, it wouldn't make a difference in his health and would probably be detrimental to Avery's and my memory of him. We'll be there for the memorial service. And send our last kisses and hugs through Angels.
I tried to talk with mom and even she hasn't been in to see him. It seems that seeing his condition would be too much for her at this point and she has self medicated so that she isn't having to feel/witness his passing.
My sister is currently sick and used that as a reason to not go with my parents Sunday and now she is crying and freaking out about papa Joe and is going to try to fly out tonight in order to get to see him one more time. I'm kinda jealous that she is going to get to see him but I know that he's not going to know that we are even there. I want for him to be able to see his greatgrandaughter but I know that neither of the two will understand what is happening. So I must rest here in Texas knowing that I've seen my papa Joe for the last time.
I actually have peace about it. His health has been quickly deteriorating over the past few months and now this is the end of the line for him. I worry more about the rest of my family had how they are all coping with things.
I guess going through the pregnancy and having to divert stresses away from myself has given me good practice in coping with things. It seems that I'm the only one who has their head on straight and can use any type of logic. I don't know why my sister is panicking now and thinks she needs to see papa Joe. But if that's how she feels, then she needs to go. But why is she speding 400$ to go up there and return in two days? The family is going to have to just be back for the funeral...I don't know. If her reason is to see papa Joe one last time, I think she is making a bit of a mistake. If my sister is wanting to go to help be a support for our parents then that makes a bit more sense. But with everyone being so sad and weak, I don't see her being of any assistance. She was trying to tell me that I needed to pack up Avery and fly with her....I don't know about taking my baby on a plane just yet. She's not even 3 weeks yet and the cabin pressure has always been trouble that I don't want to deal with not to mention trying to nurse her every two hours. I kinda feel bad that I'm not panicking and rushing around mad right now. But then I don't because I know I'm actually keeping things together and that is probably the best thing to be done right now.
I still love my family and care deeply about my papa joe's passing. I have so many memories of summer vacation at their home but I know that If I rush out this evening, it wouldn't make a difference in his health and would probably be detrimental to Avery's and my memory of him. We'll be there for the memorial service. And send our last kisses and hugs through Angels.
posted by Avery's mom at 3:17 PM
6 Comments:
I'm sorry about "papa Joe".
About your sister... well, I lost my "dad" (my mother's second husband, the one I call "dad" because HE's the one who really took care of me, raised me, etc.), I lost him in 1998, from a heart attack. If I would have known before he died that he was about to leave us all, I would have liked to see him.
Now, 7 years later, I'm still jealous of my sister who got to see him at the hospital and still see him once in a while on the streets, in cars, etc.
I understand your sister's need.
And also understand your whole point of view on this event.
My thoughts go for your grand-father.
I'm so sorry to hear about your papa joe but I am so proud of you for holding yourself together! Your sister is just experiencing her grieving process and it will take a lot of patience on your behalf to continue dealing with her logically as you have been. Yet again I am so proud of you! Take care of yourself and your amazing baby.
Love ya!
Shanda
oh yeah, I send you my deepest sympathys. I can still remember the passing of my grandaddy. It didn't bring me much comfort to see him lying unaware of us in his hospital bed. I believe that yuor papa joe is with you now, and that is why you are so calm and collected during this time. I still remember feeling grandpa's spirit pass through me and he sent us a beautiful smell of flowers (it was winter) to signal that he had arrived in his final resting place. I wish you that kind of peace in getting through this situation
i am so sorry to hear about your papa joe. but, you are right, there is sometimes comfort in remembering how he was, not how he is today. i went to see my grandfather on his deathbed, and i will forever have that picture in my mind. in some ways, it would have been easier to just cherish the memories i had instead of seeing him like that. i think he would have known i loved him either way.
Oh baby girl, I'm so sorry to hear about your papa Joe.
I wish all y'all peace at this time in your life.
I think 3 weeks is too young to have a baby on a plane. I agree ~ keep her home & safe.
M~
many hugs and prayers for you and all of your family, dearest.
Post a Comment
<< Home