for all the grief i was feeling, God gave me a funeral to attend lastweekend. a friends veggie grandma got the plugs pulled and i was screamed at several times for being insensative towards batmans grief...
does he not understand how my world is these days? so i straightend up for him and started trying to be affectionate and supportive passing out hugs throughout the day all the while muffling my own sorrow.
its better this way that i dont have MFL in my life, (I've now deleted all numbers, emails etc. from my files) for all the happiness that talking with him brought me, it caused my marriage so much trouble. we were in so much trouble before all that , it was just nice to have a friend that understood me and was uplifting, now back to trying to hope that batman can be fixed with...... therapy? mood stablizers? my whole family is so worried about me these days and wants me to pack it up and come home. because of the funeral we didnt get to have our meeting with our pastor, something that was suppose to help batman tune into his nurturing self. and he's failed to checkin and find out when the makeup appointment will be. so much for him putting effort into our dwindling situation.....
had to take avery up to the hospital today for her Echo cardio. ; at her 18 month checkup the pedi. heard a heart murmur. wont know the results till probably next Tuesday. in the back of my head i'm thinking its resulted from all the turmoil of her parents, poor babygirl.
Benjamin is sitting up now and things are getting more fun between the two of them. i wonder what its going to be like having to drag these kids around everywhere for the next several years..... its almost so overwhelming.
i asked batman this morning if he had know it was going to be this rough , having two babies this close in age, would he have dropped ben off at the firestation? and he said yes
i put BT's hat (the one from rila/thanks girl! ) on Rhett cause of the wind..
does he not understand how my world is these days? so i straightend up for him and started trying to be affectionate and supportive passing out hugs throughout the day all the while muffling my own sorrow.
its better this way that i dont have MFL in my life, (I've now deleted all numbers, emails etc. from my files) for all the happiness that talking with him brought me, it caused my marriage so much trouble. we were in so much trouble before all that , it was just nice to have a friend that understood me and was uplifting, now back to trying to hope that batman can be fixed with...... therapy? mood stablizers? my whole family is so worried about me these days and wants me to pack it up and come home. because of the funeral we didnt get to have our meeting with our pastor, something that was suppose to help batman tune into his nurturing self. and he's failed to checkin and find out when the makeup appointment will be. so much for him putting effort into our dwindling situation.....
had to take avery up to the hospital today for her Echo cardio. ; at her 18 month checkup the pedi. heard a heart murmur. wont know the results till probably next Tuesday. in the back of my head i'm thinking its resulted from all the turmoil of her parents, poor babygirl.
Benjamin is sitting up now and things are getting more fun between the two of them. i wonder what its going to be like having to drag these kids around everywhere for the next several years..... its almost so overwhelming.
i asked batman this morning if he had know it was going to be this rough , having two babies this close in age, would he have dropped ben off at the firestation? and he said yes
i put BT's hat (the one from rila/thanks girl! ) on Rhett cause of the wind..
oh, and we got to see baby cousin Rhett over the weekend. my little bro. owes over 5 grand for the bitches attorney fees/ medical exp./ etc. and got reamed a new one by the judge. And my bro just simply wants to have access to his child. this visit was the first time the family got to see Rhett and the babies already 2 months old! but he's beautiful and avery kept trying to call him "bro" (what she calls benjamin)
posted by Avery's mom at 11:33 AM
4 Comments:
it will get easier with the kids hon just hang in there, soon they both will walk along side you and entertain each other. I hope you guys start to look up soon. that sucks about your bro but at least he is getting to see him.
Everyone I know whose got two kids close in age, tell me that they'll entertain each other and so make life a little easier for mum.
Speaking from experience? As soon as you get one out of diapers it gets a WHOLE lot easier. It stinks when you have to physically feed, bathe, diaper, and clothe two kids. It really does get easier. I really know it does.
Eventually things will get easier i'm sure, at least as far as the kids go that is. I think you should set some clear goals for batman to achieve, milemarkers per se, with a timeline and if he doesn't start making some noteable progress towards bettering things you probably really need to consider goin gback to your family and letting them help. Maybe you need some time alone fo ra new perspective, sort of a fresh look if you will. beast wishes~art
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