so we actually made it to the shrink (the new one) this morning. Batman has meds to pick up and his moods Should be "stabelized" accordingly. I'm sure things would be easier if I didnt open up email from my first love (MFL) infront of him. Emails asking to meet for lunch....... *tension rose and Batmans' demanding to know if I've worked on MFL up at work* and because I've lied in the past, I'm suffering right now.
its so hard to have a jealous husband,,,,, i regret so much our trust issues and i wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I chatted with MFL Saturday night and it wasnt the same because i missed hearing his wonderful laughter but i'm too shy to pick up the phone and call. I'm flattered that he asked me to lunch and would love to go except things are just so rocky with batman and then to juggle the kids, like that would really work. But its so strange to have MFL in my head , like after i chatted with him, I just want more and for my life to be arranged differently . I want things to be easier and not so messed up in my personal life. what am i saying....? i dont even know. its just been a difficult 15 years.
its so hard to have a jealous husband,,,,, i regret so much our trust issues and i wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I chatted with MFL Saturday night and it wasnt the same because i missed hearing his wonderful laughter but i'm too shy to pick up the phone and call. I'm flattered that he asked me to lunch and would love to go except things are just so rocky with batman and then to juggle the kids, like that would really work. But its so strange to have MFL in my head , like after i chatted with him, I just want more and for my life to be arranged differently . I want things to be easier and not so messed up in my personal life. what am i saying....? i dont even know. its just been a difficult 15 years.
posted by Avery's mom at 11:19 AM
6 Comments:
I'm sure it's quite understandable to start wondering how your life would be like if you hadn't hooked up with batman, or stayed with MFL or whatever. In fact, I think someone made a movie about that very concept.
It is obvious that you still have feelings for MFL otherwise you wouldn't want "more", or you wouldn't be shy when talking to him.
I think Batman may not be wrong to be jealous.
If I were you, I'd leave MFL out of it completely. You are married to batman now.
I hope you have not taken any offence with that I have just said. This is my first time commenting on your blog, I really enjoy your blog and I think you have beautiful children, and are a good mother.
But I did feel like I had to share my opinion on your MFL as I have been in a similar situation before (been there, done that).
i understand completely. i find that when things are rocky for us that's when i miss/crave MFL's attention. if things are tense, angry, etc. and in a similar boat, i can't juggle zoë and dr daddy so that i could do it...
My personal opinion about MFL is if you go to visit with him you take Batman along. This is the only way he will start to trust you. Take care and I hope the meds work!
Don't mean to sound harsh, but maybe you need to rethink your relationship with Batman if you have all those feelings for MFL??
follow your heart but BE CAREFUL!
Post a Comment
<< Home