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............................ here's one from this last summer at our neighborhood park. I'm 38weeks pregnant and its about 110 degrees outside. batman is filming. approx. running time 59seconds
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*** and this second film is my mother and kids on my parents front porch. I grew up in this house, a log cabin in the country
aprox. running time 1minute 20 seconds

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so work is good. I've realized that I'm the worlds best massage therapist and have recieved TONS of praise. my second day up at the spa and my boss lady stopped me to say that she's so very happy to have me working up there; that she feels I have good energy and that I'm going to be a big asset to her business.
I realized that I really had not done profesional work since becoming a mother. there had been times that i thought i might not ever go back to that line of work. after my assualt, my clientel was dwinddling and I really thought i had lost my care and compasion for others (especially in a semi-nude and touching environment) i actually thought i might not ever go back, that my emotional scars from being raped conflicted with the openess required to perform professional massage.
I new the day would come that I needed to go back to working and unfortunatley batman's job was not covering the neverending expense of diapers and wipes so I was sorta' forced back into finding work. the place is great and I could not have been more blessed to find a work enviornment this cool and ready for me. I just need to touch up my knowledge of doing body wraps and be trained on the front desk and the job is Golden.
but back to what i was initally trying to say. about twenty minutes into my first appointment i realized that by me becoming a mother, my identity had changed so much. My assult was something from the past but I am no longer that person. I'm a mom and am able to leave the pain behind me... at least long enough to act as a therapist for others. it feels so good to be working. i've already gotten a paycheck though it's only for 2 hours of work, 52 bucks aint so bad.

also an update, my loving dear husband has made it possible for us to not loose our internet. the bill is paid in full and we only have another months' worth of collect calls from jail (not batman but a friend of his) to pay but with me working now, everything should be great.
I'll post some updated pictures here shortly, just wanted to say that my job is good, my blog will be continued and the few of my blog buddies that have stayed in touch with me during this time, THANKS and I love you all! lets keep the phonelines open

last one for awhile

had an interview today and landed the job (of course) i dont know what i was so stressed about. its been awhile since i've worked but the Interviewer seemed to be real laid back (an acupuncturist actually) and is having me work my way into the schedule up there. IT such a switch to be employed....it feels good. Cant wait to be bringing home some MULLAH!
Batman was having a rough time of it on his own, and i'm having to juggle the babies on my own...i think i might like having a couple days a week away from them. pray this works out for us all.
I might not be blogging or online but i wanted to post this last good news before i got busy with work.

no pictures but an actual post!

so i've been busy and things have been difficult hereon the home front. I've actually thought about quitting this blog....but I dont know what the last post should be or if there is a proper way of saying goodbye to any of my readers. So I find time to blog. the older these babies get, the more i realize how much More Work i'm going to have to put into them. its not so bad when the infant sleeps but now he's wanting to sit up and see everything that I do. his little curious eyes peer over my shoulder as i keep avery from throwing things into the toilet and waving "bye-bye" . one of these shortly coming months I'm not going to be able to keep up.
I have entirely quit picking up the house since Christmas...i feel so bad for my husband coming home to such a dump but as soon as I get a portion of these toys and stuffed animals thrown into a hamper....avery's right behind me pulling it all out again. we could probably do it 20x's in a single day. Do they make handcuffs for one year olds? She's a great little girl, deffinatly a daddy's girl though. Avery tries to test me at every opportunity and We've learned that mentioning the word "Spank" carries some authority.
I'm just tired and lonely for people that Speak Words in English. Avery's contected her Growling voice to that of Cookie Monster of Seseame street. She's been growling like a montster for months now and just last week, she caught a scene of Cookie Monster on TV and her eye's just lit up to hear the same vocalizations! she doesnt say, "COokie..." but she does the back of the throat Growl pretty good. I think it also represents anything that is difficult or tough for her, or anything that is sharp and could hurt her, avery will growl to let me know that it's a knife and dangerous. My crazy WIld Girl.
Benjamin is my new Boyfriend, I've always had a crush on every Benjamin i ever knew (even my mother commented on this fact when we were picking out names) HE's my little man and though he drools, he's got the funniest sense of humor. Batman will toss him into the air and ben's eyes get frightened, ,,,,,I simply raise him over my head with him looking down into my face and he cracks up laughing because of his altitude over me. he's such a proud baby and he's going to stay the sweet little guy forever with me. I wont let the world roughen him up.

this is posted Backwards so forgive the odor of things

............and again as bad parents we stuck spaklers in our oneyear olds' hand. Avery enjoyed these better then the grenade launchers we were using earlier in the night. we set off fireworks at my girlfriends farm. it was dark and avery was stung out and the noise frightened her. everytime the kids shot one off, avery's fist went to her mouth and she ducked her head into my shoulder.
First thing to do morning of 2007, Rock Climbing outside the Days Inn
seriously she was having a good time but her daddy was taking way too long at snapping the picture.
...Benjamin's upset cause all through the holiday's not one picture of him was taken.......it was his first Christmas and the Camera hog Avery stole every shot. what pathetic parents we are.
(these were snapped the day after Christmas to help make up for Benjamin's absense.)
........."Merry Christmas a little late little Ben"
......... and one last shot for today of Avery's Christmas i know my eye's look creepy here , it was a long day of high energy and the eggnog was like the mother mary