Grusome honesty about my Family
Went and spent this evening with my unhappy parents. Both of them have had shoulder surgery in the past three weeks and can not do much for themselves. How it happen that they Both had to have surgery the same month is beyond me. Mom has been needing hers for several years on her left side, and Dad injured his breaking up a fight of women inmates on the job back in March and it's taken this long for workmans comp to take care of.
They are both so handicapped right now it's a joke. Thankfully neither injury is on the dominant arm. They look like Tweedle DEE and Tweedle Dumb with their arms taped up and strapped down with matching black arm braces. Guess I wont have to worry about Who gets to hold Avery first after she's born. I'm going to have my arms full.....hahaha, wish it was funny to laugh about. I feel so bad about their situation and hate that they chose this time to go and get cut on. It's a real struggle.
So back to how crazy my family is, Dad thinks that he's going to move my little sister in with me. He helped her get into her own apartment back in December and has paid for everything for her. Now that her lease is up, and because he's been helping out with some of my bills, HE thinks its ok to just move her into my life.........I'm so freekin mad!
HE asked Rachel what she wants to do but never considered my feelings.....What the hell!!!!
Rachel is 21 and should have been working to get on her own two feet during the past 9 months. The couple of times I have gotten to talk with her about her intentions, she says that she really wants to get out from under Dad, which sounds great but she shows no initiative. I offer to help her locate housing that is more affordable or better job for her, but she always says that she has it under control.......Well, if she thinks that I'm taking her in, guess she really doesn't have it 'under control'
OOOO I SO MAD! This is a problem between her and dad, not mine.
I'm about to be bringing a baby into this world and am trying to create a home and family environment for my baby, not a flop house for an irresponsible girl that wants to go out drinking and doesn't know how to keep house. I've been independent of my family for the past 10 years, up until this pregnancy and now suddenly I'm getting my little sister thrown at me........Not going to happen.
I've told her that if she needs a place to go, I'm here but that I'm not looking to cohabitate with another person that is unable to pay their way in the world.....I also recognize that Dad's just trying to consolidate his expenses....It shouldn't be like this. I feel so horrible for him, but more mad with my sister for putting him /us in this situation. She's had a silver spoon stuck in her mouth for too long. In the same way I was Cut off from the family when I was a teenager, She's going to have to learn some lessons too. It's so very unfortunate but ITS NOT MY PROBLEM and I WONT PUT UP WITH IT even if it means that I loose in the end. Loosing my daddies help with bills is not worth messing up the relationship and home life I'm trying so desperately to make for my baby.
Having Rachel here is not going to be helping me, she wouldn't be of any assistance here anyways, the girl doesn't know how to clean, cook, or anything.....So many times I've gone over to her FANCY SHMANCY apartment in the Sky that daddy paid for and furnished and cooked her and her Boyfriend a home cooked meal hoping to encourage her domestic side and get to hang out with her, in return I get thanked and asked when I'm going to cook for them again by her boyfriend.......Her boyfriend is a whole nother post. Lets just say, Dad bought this guy a brand new Dodge Durango and now that dad isn't going to pay for insurance on it, her boyfriend cant afford it and is going to have to just hand the car off to someone else (lets all just imagine that I'm the one that is picking up the slack here) Once again not my problem, but somehow my crazy family is trying to drag me into it.
Hello FAMIly! DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT I'm 38 WEEKS PREGNANT!
I'm just going to crap this child out all over them and then see what happens,,,,I'M NOT A FIX TO ALL OF THEIR PROBLEMS.
posted by Avery's mom at 6:01 PM
12 Comments:
Sorry you guys for the nasty picture, my post isnt that pretty either, been kinda frustrated and needed to get it out. cant just blog about bagels and creamcheese all the time
When are you going to have time to fix OUR problems? You need to prioritize.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sorry, i left out a whole half a sentence on the comment i deleted. don't sweat your sister--she sounds like she needs to grow up and take responsibility. your responsibility is your marriage and your new baby. crazy families will still be crazy later on, but this opportunity and new baby stage only happens once. enjoy it.
Robyn, now that I've met you I so seeing you saying that first comment, especially the part about the bagels and cream cheese.
I can see your frustration here. Can't say that I have a whole lot of advice. You're right that your first priority is the baby. Maybe there is need for more gov't assistance for you so some pressure can be relieved off of your dad, just till you get back on your feet. I don't push public aid as a neverending lifestyle, but when you need it, you need it, and that's what it's there for.
Btw, having wanted to be a doctor, I'm all over that picture. I used to watch those surgeries on TLC.
That's something you didn't need to deal with just a few days from giving birth.
But, could you temporarily take your sister with you and make her help you with Avery?
Maybe she soooo won't be able to "take it" that she'll get a job and get the fuck out of your place real fast?
- just a suggestion here, loll!! -
i can totally understand where you are coming from, although you must realize that, as everyone else has said, you and that precious bay about to be born must come first... i too have undergone the responsibilty of siblings in the past and i finally had to put my foot down..it began interfering wiht my own family and home life. i still to this day have to be strong in my desicions and remind my family that hs not yet taken a turn to have an extra person in their home that i am done and that they can now take a turn... it gets very frustrating but in the end is worth it. they have recently understood my thougths and decisions i have made in the lst year about allowing my house to become a flop house...hope all the best for your mom and dads surgeries. etbvjk.blogspot.com
Amy~ I didnt think you had any problems, your life runs so smoothly and seems to be in such great order. I try to model my life after the order of yours :)
MAdMAn~ I write in Red when I'm angry about something. probably best that a madman doesnt get sturred up like a madbull
Grody~ very wise to point out that this IS a special time for me and it's fleeting. thank you
Karen~ Glad the photo didnt disgust you. I was worried about the more delicate readers, lol I have been encouraged before by raven to seek assistance, it is just such a hassle to get into the system and then the govt. treats you like a dummy who doesnt know how to help yourself. might come down to it...still really dont want to.
Addict~ Thank you so very much for your good words of encouragment. your are right, avery and batman are my family. I feel better focusing on that. thanks
Cendrine~hahaha, dont think I havent thought of my sister as alive in Nanny, I know she couldnt take it but then I also know that she wouldnt leave. she's kinda sluggish. I would have two babies to care for.
Trisha~ thanks for the comment, It's good to hear words from others that have gone through this and survived. Its just a huge battle with the family untill they can recognize/respect your boundries.
goddamnit! I just left madman's blog where there was a nast ass picture. then i clicked on your profile, came to your blog, and THERE IT FUCKING IS! I just cleaned the monitor! cool blog
I'm sorry about your sister.
If I may suggest an alternative- maybe letting her live with you for a set amount of time (2-3 mos?) free, and then if she is not out after that, charging rent.
I know it is a horrible time to have that happening, what with your baby due and all, but I let my "irresponsible" sister live with me for 3 mos and she exceeded my expectations and got a job immediately. I know that is not always going to happen, but you might give it a try if you feel too much pressure to say no.
I'll be praying for you.
Man, when it rains it pours. It is good though that you already have a firm grasp of what is important, and the consequences you are willing to pay for standing up for yourself although it is unfortunate if you have to.
I am trying to learn to ask myself when someone tries to get me to take their problems on myself "is this my problem?" If the answer is no I can not afford to borrow worry about it. Much easier in theory than in practice though :-)
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