Wednesday, December 28, 2005

2005 moving into 2006

If you want to hear what my Avery sounds like.....skip this and visit two post down.....there's an audio blogger and she sounds like Dolphins.
TEll me what you think/ talk back....

so its the last Wednesday of the year and its kinda weird that 2005 is passing. i never thought i was going to survive but it looks like i made it. this year was the biggest year of my life, I endured a mystery pregnancy, I underwent surgery and delivered a healthy baby girl, I married my man till death do we part, we even crammed in Christmas and now my life feels peaceful. The tension and angst of whats to come is no longer a part of me. I can move into the next year and think that life is going to be normal. i don't have any fears,
well, i take that back, i do wonder about when i am going to get back to working. It sucks so bad having to rely on only batmans income. back in the day, we were able to go out and splurge from time to time but with us being broker then broke,,,,not so much anymore.

we had a measly Christmas as far as giving and i didnt receive anything from my new husband this year....Not that i expected so much, but at least i was able to assemble a few small gifts for him. i think he kinda feels bad about it. i told him, as long as he can cover rent this month, thats all the Christmas i want. oh well, we'll see

so I'm wondering about getting back to work. and how do i juggle that with raising my baby girl? it almost seems impossible. my dad doesnt want for her to be in daycare and neither grandparents are fit for babysitting...they might think they want to but the honest truth of the matter is that neither batman or myself feels comfortable leaving the baby with them. my mother has Multiple sclerosis and batman'mom suffers from mystery seizures and a screwed up back. I miss the money and I dont want to have to build back up my clientele...thats so much work and takes time. maybe i should consider working for someone parttime. I'm just not dedicated to doing massage when i could be enjoying my little girl.

Newyears is going to be her 4th month and we started her on some rice cereal baby is growing so much. it kinda hurst to think that she's getting nourishment away from my breast but i knew the day would come. its just hearbreaking in a sentimental mothering type of way. I wouldnt mind having my body be all mine but I've not had that feeling in almost a year. there has always been something belonging to my daughter that i havent had complete control over. Man,having a baby changes things so much. I wrote about how i feel like i ve started into a new book on my life....well the old robyn has alot to learn. time is going to pass quickly the next few years and I want to accomplish everything that i dream of....right now batman is talking about moving to colorado. if we move, he thinks i can just pick up working at a resort in boulder and he can benefit with getting discount lift tickets...i swear, he's always thinking about himself. when do i get to enjoy a plush lifestyle? only when I can afford it because for as long as i 'm with BATman, i'm going to be poor and scrapping the bottom of the soup can


Blogger greekchickie said...

Maybe so, but hopefully you'll always have that beautiful baby girl & the love y'all share together for her & for each other. That'll make up for the soup cans...

Girlie ~ can Batman watch Ms Avery while you work part-time? At least to get your feet wet again? I wish we lived closer together ~ I'd be your most frequent client.

Let's hope for a great New Year!


December 28, 2005 11:13 AM  
Blogger Jubi said...

Hi robyn avery looks vary cute in those pictures :D hope ya'll had a wonderful christmas and i hope ya'll are going to have a fun new year!!!

December 28, 2005 11:52 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Congrats on your marriage. Your dress and scarf look so great on you. You made a lovely bride.
Avery is growing so quickly. She has such big, expressive eyes. She will melt your heart with just a look for the rest of your days.
I hope you will be able to work out a suitable babysitter for her. I know it must bring you a lot of worry. I hope 2006 is a great year for your family.

December 28, 2005 9:13 PM  
Blogger Larry said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

December 29, 2005 7:09 AM  
Blogger marge said...

I love the baby / cat pics. both are so pretty. please have a wonderful Nre Year , how can you miss ,with that baby and new husb.

December 29, 2005 8:46 AM  
Blogger Heather/SHTEZQ said...

I hope yo are able to start working and able to find somebody u trust with Avery. It is a hard thing to do.You might have to work opisite housrs then batman while so you do not have to pay a daycare provider. Daycare alone is so expensive.
well good luck and happy new year.

December 29, 2005 12:12 PM  
Blogger trisha said...

i must agree with greekie cheekie and heather- maybe a part time deal will get YOU back into the swing of things. It's a 'must' to think about cause you sure dont want to think about daycare expenses! Trust Me!

December 29, 2005 4:25 PM  
Blogger Bridget Jones said...

I'm also with greekchickie....happy new year, Robyn. You sure made a lot of changes this year. That's enough to take anyone's breath away...Bridg

December 29, 2005 4:26 PM  
Blogger mistyblue3 said...

I am starting to work again too, after the new year. I haven't worked full time in nearly 6 years! I've been working on call now, for the same company since my kids have been born, which was usually once a month. Now I'm moving to 2 nights a week. Not much, but it will help. I'll only work when Hubs is home, so we don't have to deal w/ child care. I don't want anyone else raising my kids, although when I have days like today, I wouldn't mind so much :)One income is hard!!! Esp w/ 3 kids!!! It will get better, you will find more ways to cut corners. Do what's best for you, Avery and Batman. Parents are always trying to be helpful, but only you know what would be best. Good luck!

December 29, 2005 5:22 PM  
Blogger aughra said...

In about six months, things will be so smooth in your life that you will look back at these first few months and just marvel.

Count on it.

January 01, 2006 9:43 AM  
Blogger Violet said...

I don't think your parents are in any position to tell you not to put Avery in childcare, if they can't help with babysitting themselves. But the fact of the matter is that unless your job pays quite well, you'll probably find most of your earnings going into paid childcare anyway.

January 01, 2006 3:18 PM  

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