Diversion of my mind
So it's Saturday night 8pm and Avery is down for who knows how long. Jamie's at work till 11pm and I've got the house to myself. Maybe I should have my boyfriend come over
don't know what to write about, I feel that I spend most of this journal talking about poop and nursing and new mommyhood and it's great but I'm wondering if my readers aren't a bit bored with it all. Guess I shouldn't worry so much about if my readers are bored....I write because it's peaceful and good to get some thoughts out. I just wish my thoughts weren't overwhelmed with how many diapers I went through in a day. Just incase you are wondering, I got to change some orange paste off of avery's butt this afternoon. It looks as though her constipations has subsided.
but back to the original topic of what to write tonight.......I guess I'll tell you some silly things that run through my mind:
this time of year butterflies migrate down into Mexico and Texas is on the way, so now when ever I'm outside which is quite frequent, I'm always surprised with the most beautiful butterfly passing.
I'm sure you are thinking that a migration means that there should be a huge herd of them but I guess the way they float around, they get distracted from the group and by the time they reach Texas, each butterfly is making it's own migration solo
So I'm looking at these butterflies passing through the neighbor hood and I'm remebering my papa joe's passing and wondering if it's some sign for the other side, you know how Sylvia Brown talks about the dead flipping on/off lights to signal that they're with you....I'm imagining that my papa Joe is sending me butterflies
Actually my family doesn't believe in that type of stuff nor do I need to have signs sent to me from the 'other side'......Just some silly make believe because I know that my stern German papa Joe would not send me something soft like a butterfly but instead send me something scary like Thunder.
We always did talk about Thunder and lightening when ever the afternoon storms interrupted our swim down in Florida. We would have to get out of the water and we sat up in the screened in porch and watched the winds bring down sheets of cool tropical rain. We would sit and talk and I always asked him what lightening was and my papa Joe would always tell me the science of it and I never comprehended all that he said. It was too technical for my brain.
Anyway, so now I've decided that Sum kinda princes has been sick and her blog has the drifting butterfly so now when ever I see a migratory butterfly outside , I've decided to say a prayer for her. The butter fly is just a reminder for me to lift a thought for her well being.
Has anyone checked out my link to the San Diego Zoo? I've been thinking that the weather here has cooled off and it's so nice out, I would love to take a trip to the Fortworth Zoo if Avery was older but I guess we're gonna have to wait a couple of years before she'll be able to appreciate the animals. I'm not sure she understands or notices the cats we keep. The other day, I had her laying on the floor with me and Jarobie came by and head bumped me in the side to say "hello" so I picked him up and Avery was watching me. I started making kitty sounds and her face lit up into a smile so I don't know if she was aware of the cat but her eyes did kinda follow him walking off.
Later Jarobie jumped up onto the couch behind me and posted himself over Avery like he was helping keep tabs on her.It was so sweet......He really is a good guard cat. He growls whenever someone knocks on the front door and he'll bite if necessary but he knows how to be gentle. He really is the smartest cat.
the other cats, Riddler and Simone keep their distance from the baby. They come and look at her for a moment and then freak out because of her kicking legs under the blanket, they are such sissies. But I still have a crush on Riddler. He's the man
Tomorrow Jamie's mom and step dad are coming over for lunch. Think we'll be having burgers. I would like it if we could make it to church in the morning though having a young baby makes it difficult to sit through an entire hour and a half sermon. One of the reasons I really want to go is simply to be with my Dad. He's upsetting me badly because he invited us over for dinner the other day, and when we got there, he was being obnoxious and loud and started getting mean to me because he had gotten drunk.
I discovered where he keeps his liquor hidden but I didn't pour it out. I'm disappointed in myself for not dumping it but I didn't want to make him any angrier so he won that situation. It just totally sucks to see him like that, and he thinks he's hiding it and no one knows..........I guess things have been really stressful but still that's no excuse for getting belligerent. I know he would never tolerate that from me, I just don't know how to address his drinking. I thought about leaving a stupid note on his stash spot saying 'Busted' but that would only irritate him and make him find some other hiding place for his Drink. Anyone have much experience with intervention? ....I don't think he really wants help for it but I don't want Avery to be around a drunk Grandpa. He's got to get it together, just like I do. It's not easy but at least the playing ground is even when everyone's sober. Enough about that, all I really wanted to say was that I'm really hurting because of my dad. I hate seeing him that way.
So Go check out my link to the San Diego Zoo....There's a live web cam of the baby and mommy Panda bears. It's so cute, I was pointing out to Jamie how the mom handles the baby and he said that maybe I should lick Avery's bottom like the panda's do so she can poop again
Alright, I'm talking about poop again! I really need to stop. It's just so much of my mind is constipated now with baby stuff. They need to develop a pill or something for the anxiety of becoming a first time mother. I swear, If I ever get a moment to step away from Avery, every thirty seconds I have a surge of panic that I need to go and check on her to make sure she's breathing.....It's not really that bad, but I do have to keep telling myself to chill and not worry so much. It's just the new mommy thing. Every night I have anxiety about how long she's gonna sleep for and if I should just stay awake....I'm driving myself batty! And I know it's not healthy so Im working on it .
Something else I really want to get started on is my exercise routine. Typically I'm a walker and I've taken Avery in her stroller out to do a shorter version of what I use to do on my own, but it's just more involved when you have a baby. I really need to make use of this fantastic weather we're having and get myself into shape. I look like a weeble wobble....My Ass has gotten wide and there's jello still shaking on my tummy. I've been thinking I would like to get into Martial ARts and learn how to kick Butt, just not sure......
the real problem is my dedication right now. I need to put my mind to some form of exercised and just do it. ( hmmmm, maybe a nice pair of running shoes for inspiration would help)
don't know what to write about, I feel that I spend most of this journal talking about poop and nursing and new mommyhood and it's great but I'm wondering if my readers aren't a bit bored with it all. Guess I shouldn't worry so much about if my readers are bored....I write because it's peaceful and good to get some thoughts out. I just wish my thoughts weren't overwhelmed with how many diapers I went through in a day. Just incase you are wondering, I got to change some orange paste off of avery's butt this afternoon. It looks as though her constipations has subsided.
but back to the original topic of what to write tonight.......I guess I'll tell you some silly things that run through my mind:
this time of year butterflies migrate down into Mexico and Texas is on the way, so now when ever I'm outside which is quite frequent, I'm always surprised with the most beautiful butterfly passing.
I'm sure you are thinking that a migration means that there should be a huge herd of them but I guess the way they float around, they get distracted from the group and by the time they reach Texas, each butterfly is making it's own migration solo
So I'm looking at these butterflies passing through the neighbor hood and I'm remebering my papa joe's passing and wondering if it's some sign for the other side, you know how Sylvia Brown talks about the dead flipping on/off lights to signal that they're with you....I'm imagining that my papa Joe is sending me butterflies
Actually my family doesn't believe in that type of stuff nor do I need to have signs sent to me from the 'other side'......Just some silly make believe because I know that my stern German papa Joe would not send me something soft like a butterfly but instead send me something scary like Thunder.
We always did talk about Thunder and lightening when ever the afternoon storms interrupted our swim down in Florida. We would have to get out of the water and we sat up in the screened in porch and watched the winds bring down sheets of cool tropical rain. We would sit and talk and I always asked him what lightening was and my papa Joe would always tell me the science of it and I never comprehended all that he said. It was too technical for my brain.
Anyway, so now I've decided that Sum kinda princes has been sick and her blog has the drifting butterfly so now when ever I see a migratory butterfly outside , I've decided to say a prayer for her. The butter fly is just a reminder for me to lift a thought for her well being.
Has anyone checked out my link to the San Diego Zoo? I've been thinking that the weather here has cooled off and it's so nice out, I would love to take a trip to the Fortworth Zoo if Avery was older but I guess we're gonna have to wait a couple of years before she'll be able to appreciate the animals. I'm not sure she understands or notices the cats we keep. The other day, I had her laying on the floor with me and Jarobie came by and head bumped me in the side to say "hello" so I picked him up and Avery was watching me. I started making kitty sounds and her face lit up into a smile so I don't know if she was aware of the cat but her eyes did kinda follow him walking off.
Later Jarobie jumped up onto the couch behind me and posted himself over Avery like he was helping keep tabs on her.It was so sweet......He really is a good guard cat. He growls whenever someone knocks on the front door and he'll bite if necessary but he knows how to be gentle. He really is the smartest cat.
the other cats, Riddler and Simone keep their distance from the baby. They come and look at her for a moment and then freak out because of her kicking legs under the blanket, they are such sissies. But I still have a crush on Riddler. He's the man
Tomorrow Jamie's mom and step dad are coming over for lunch. Think we'll be having burgers. I would like it if we could make it to church in the morning though having a young baby makes it difficult to sit through an entire hour and a half sermon. One of the reasons I really want to go is simply to be with my Dad. He's upsetting me badly because he invited us over for dinner the other day, and when we got there, he was being obnoxious and loud and started getting mean to me because he had gotten drunk.
I discovered where he keeps his liquor hidden but I didn't pour it out. I'm disappointed in myself for not dumping it but I didn't want to make him any angrier so he won that situation. It just totally sucks to see him like that, and he thinks he's hiding it and no one knows..........I guess things have been really stressful but still that's no excuse for getting belligerent. I know he would never tolerate that from me, I just don't know how to address his drinking. I thought about leaving a stupid note on his stash spot saying 'Busted' but that would only irritate him and make him find some other hiding place for his Drink. Anyone have much experience with intervention? ....I don't think he really wants help for it but I don't want Avery to be around a drunk Grandpa. He's got to get it together, just like I do. It's not easy but at least the playing ground is even when everyone's sober. Enough about that, all I really wanted to say was that I'm really hurting because of my dad. I hate seeing him that way.
So Go check out my link to the San Diego Zoo....There's a live web cam of the baby and mommy Panda bears. It's so cute, I was pointing out to Jamie how the mom handles the baby and he said that maybe I should lick Avery's bottom like the panda's do so she can poop again
Alright, I'm talking about poop again! I really need to stop. It's just so much of my mind is constipated now with baby stuff. They need to develop a pill or something for the anxiety of becoming a first time mother. I swear, If I ever get a moment to step away from Avery, every thirty seconds I have a surge of panic that I need to go and check on her to make sure she's breathing.....It's not really that bad, but I do have to keep telling myself to chill and not worry so much. It's just the new mommy thing. Every night I have anxiety about how long she's gonna sleep for and if I should just stay awake....I'm driving myself batty! And I know it's not healthy so Im working on it .
Something else I really want to get started on is my exercise routine. Typically I'm a walker and I've taken Avery in her stroller out to do a shorter version of what I use to do on my own, but it's just more involved when you have a baby. I really need to make use of this fantastic weather we're having and get myself into shape. I look like a weeble wobble....My Ass has gotten wide and there's jello still shaking on my tummy. I've been thinking I would like to get into Martial ARts and learn how to kick Butt, just not sure......
the real problem is my dedication right now. I need to put my mind to some form of exercised and just do it. ( hmmmm, maybe a nice pair of running shoes for inspiration would help)
posted by Avery's mom at 6:24 PM
8 Comments:
I checked out the site to the zoo and saved it so when my daughter returns from her dad's house she can look to we already have the shamu one on her favorites.
you are ssssooo funny... abouth the having you're boyfriend come over---cause he's at work...that's nme and Eric all the time!!!! I love it! if we really only meant it would NOT be OK! That baby girl is absolutely beautiful.....!!!!!!!
I love that you love Sylvia Browne. She's an inspiration. My best friend owns every book she has ever written.
As far as your dad, I know the feeling. When I was married, my ex's grandma was the same way. We (everyone in the family) would hide her liquor, dilute it, throw it down the drain... anything. Her son (my ex's uncle) confronted her on many an occassion but she still drank.
Her saving grace? She fell, broke her hip, her husband died & was left at home alone, where she nearly drank herself into a stupor. She became incontinent & unable to take care of herself... so the family finally put her in an assisted living facility... where she is today.
But alcohol-free.
It's a tough thing to have to experience... I wish you all the best.
M~
It's hard to be a first-time mom but this outlet is good for you.
I wish I had good advice on your dad, but I don't. Other than to hint that you might not want to visit as much with Avery if he's not in control of himself. Take care with that and I'll be praying for you.
Butterflies are my little sign from my grama who's actually still alive. Weird, I know but we never really got along very well but both loved them a lot. We have that special bond and she said anytime I see one, she's thinking of me. I see yellow ones a lot. A whole lot really. I ended up getting a tattoo of one, but it's not yellow. Anyway- thanks so much for the prayer. I'm going through a lot right now and need all I can get. Be it butterfly kisses, or prayers or both. Thanks!
I drove to Austin, from Abilene today and saw lots of those Monarchs flapping about.
you should say whatever you need to to clear the air with your dad. nothing to be ashamed of there--it's hard stuff. but now, you have not only yourself to consider, but that beautiful baby as well. it's pretty motivational when you think about your child possibly being exposed to something like alcohol. i'm sure you'll find the right words to say.
i'm such a slacker and am only just now getting around to commenting...three days later.
i like hearing the poop and nursing stories! it's great prep for what's on my way in only three more months. you really shouldn't worry about whether or not your readers are bored. if we didn't find some sort of interest in your stories, then we wouldn't read.
i can slightly remember the butterfly migrations from when i was a little girl growing up in the dfw area. we don't get any of that around here unfortunately. i guess the flat brown of the eastern new mexico area is just not pretty enough for them. i can't say that i do or don't believe in the 'signs from the other side' but there are rare occassions that when i do see something out of the norm, like the flutter-bys, i think of one of the few relatives that have passed and i was close to and it just makes me wonder. i've also decided that if it is possible to send a 'hello' from the other side, butterflies will be my choice, since my nickname since i was 13 is Butterflie. the really really colorful ones too with blues and greens and purples!
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